A "Racy" Night in October

So I wanted to tell you all about the night in October that was surreal and weird, to say the least.

This is a true story.

It was the night of October 24th/early morning October 25th. Time? Approximately 2 am.

I had heard Scarlett crying in her room while Jake was changing her diaper. I got up to see if he needed help, and he asked me to make her a bottle so he could rock her back to sleep. I obliged, sleepily measuring powdered baby-crack in the little scooper, and then shaking the closed bottle in a hurried fashion because I could hear Scarlett fussing in the next room. I knew I had to get her bottle to her. So I gave it to Jake and decided I would stay up for a little while and play online as I was awake and needed to get sleepy again.

As I sat in our big, comfy recliner in our living room, I heard police sirens in the distance. No biggie, I thought. We live right near 580 and people get pulled over on the main drag which is a block away from our house, all the time. But the sirens didn't stop. The kept going, and going and going. Suddenly, there was another noise that joined the late night wailing of police cruisers. It was a police helicopter, or "ghetto bird" as it's known to Jake and I. Uh oh, someone was busted big time! But the sirens wouldn't stop, they kept wailing, and they were getting closer. The helicopter's blades were so close, the living room windows started to shake. What the HELL was going on? Being the ambulance-chaser that the genes my grandfather gave me would prove, I got up from the chair and started into the kitchen. The window above the sink had a clear view of the main drag where the sirens seemed to be coming from, and I needed to know what was going on.

As I started walking to the doorway that leads to the kitchen, I heard it. A loud "SCRAPE" that sounded like metal against concrete. I looked quickly, just in time to see a dark SUV race up our street with sparks flying from the back! Following VERY closely behind was a police cruiser, and another, and another, and another, and another...and it goes on. One parked in front of our house, and I yelled for Jake to come into the living room. We looked out the front window, and saw a Sheriff run up the street with a rifle drawn. I knew this was trouble. I called the non-emergency police line and asked the operator if we should be on the lookout for anyone on foot, or were we in some kind of danger??? She said it was a high speed freeway chase, to lock our doors and windows and stay inside. I did just that, and turned off all the lights in the house. What does Jake do? Put on his shoes and run outside onto the porch. Obviously, someone seems to be more of an ambulance chaser than I am. Go figure.

When I knew we were safe, I joined Jake on the porch in time to see two of the men in the SUV escorted to the Sheriff's cars waiting for them at the bottom of the street, in handcuffs. They didn't look our way, and I stayed silent. A part of me was worried that they would remember me watching them get arrested, get out and come back for us. Weird, I know. It made sense at the time.

It turns out, there was an armed robbery in Windsor, which is an hour North of us. Three men held up a family for $2500, 8 lbs (yes POUNDS) of marijuana, and a cell phone. The victims broke free of their binds and called the cops. Shortly afterwards, the men were pulled over since they matched the description of what the victims told police. Well, Duh - it was them! They took off, and went through Sonoma county. Then they entered Marin county and exited off the freeway, then got back on. They decided to then cross the Richmond/San Rafael bridge which had a spike-strip waiting for them. They ran it over, and kept going, eventually loosing the wheel entirely right before getting on our side of the bridge. They decided to get off the freeway (we are the first exit after the bridge ends), and of all the streets and exits to take, they drove up ours. They got to the end of our street riding on three flat tires and a roader (sp?), only to have the car catch on fire when they reached the end of our street. The fire was put out and all three men were arrested.

Things of note usually happen when I'm not around, so this was definitely something that made up for it. It was nothing if not an adrenaline rush and scary as hell at the same time.

Haven't been abducted...

Oh my goodness! The last time I posted was in September!? WTH!!??

My poor neglected little blog. My readers (or what's left of them) are probably thinking I got abducted by aliens, or a 7-month old child...the latter being true.

So here's an update:

Scarlett is now 7 months old...yes...SEVEN months old. She'll be 8 months old on the 21st. And she now has teeth. Two on the bottom in the middle. What a battle that was. For the last 2 days before the first one cut through, she was a terror. But now that we know how to handle it (lots of freezable teething rings and THANK GOD for Hyland's teething tablets), we're pretty prepared. I know I say that and then I'll be thrown a serious curve ball in the teething department. Here's a picture of her tooth! Can you see it? Sorry the picture is so blurry. Taking a picture with a wiggly 7 month old isn't the easiest thing in the world. That and she just ate before the picture was taken, so please excuse the food on her cheeks.

We had a pretty quiet Halloween. My parents came up the day before for our local moms' group Halloween party to see Scarlett in her costume. She made an adorable strawberry.

We also had a "racy" Saturday night a couple of weekends ago. When I say "racy" I mean there was a high speed chase that spanned 3 counties, the Richmond-San Rafael bridge and it all came to a grinding (literally, grinding) halt at the end of our street at 2am. But that's another post altogether. Have I got you in suspense now? :)

Jake and I have decided to go to Disneyland for our 5 year wedding anniversary in May. We originally wanted to go back to Jamaica, but the price tag is a little hefty for us right now and we aren't comfortable with leaving Scarlett for a minimum of a week. Granted she'll be 14 months old, but still. So we've decided to drive down to LA for a few days.

If I remember anything else, I'll post I promise! Man I need to get back into the swing of things!

Scarlett - 6 months portraits

Here are some pictures of our Scooter we had taken this weekend. Enjoy!

30 Before 30 - Horseback Riding

One of the big things on my 30 before 30 list was wanting to go horseback riding again. I've always had a fondness for horses and if I could, I would go back in time and become an equestrian. There's something so beautiful about horses that draws me. I've gone riding a few times in the past, but not for a long time.

As part of the 6th anniversary (Sept 18) of Jake and my engagement, he decided it would be a good idea to go back to Monterey to visit the spot where he proposed. On the way, he made reservations to go horseback riding on the beach by the dunes in Salinas. We arrived about 30 minutes early, and were riding with three people from England, so they were eager to try "Western Style" riding.

The guide's name was Butch and he brought all but one horse out from the trailer and they were all saddled and ready to go. Jake got matched with the tallest horse there, which was a chocolate brown male named Moose. I got a reddish/brown and white patched female named Angel. The three English people got Geronimo, Dakota and Buddy. The one horse that was left behind in the trailer was Dunny, who according to Butch was "the biggest troublemaker" and it was quite apparent that he was right considering the fit Dunny had when Butch closed the trailer door. I felt bad for poor Dunny, but it wasn't hot and there was a breeze, so I knew Dunny would be OK in the trailer.

Angel is the brown/white one on the far left. Moose is the brown one on the far right.

So we began down the trail and onto the beach. We were just walking at a decent pace, the waves of the Pacific Ocean reaching the horses' feet, and up to their ankles. It was really beautiful.

Then it happened...

I was 2nd in line after Butch on his horse, and I don't really remember what happened exactly. All I could remember was Angel moving really fast, holding onto the reins while watching the ground get closer and closer, and hearing Butch say "WHOA WHOA WHOA". Then I hit the sand. I guess a wave spooked Butch's horse, which spooked Angel. She turned and began to freak out, and threw me. I remember hitting the ground and thinking "Oh God, don't get stepped on" so I quickly got back up. I wasn't hurt since the sand gave me a soft landing, but my butt and back were wet from the wet sand and I was embarrased. Butch got Angel by the reins and brought her back to me. He asked if I was alright, I said yes. He said "Are you sure?" and I said "Yes. I would tell you if something was wrong". I was shaking from the adrenaline a little bit, but I was OK, and he said "OK, are you going to ride?" I said "Absolutely". So Butch knelt down so I could use his knee as a step stool and I got back onto Angel. I never felt threatened or like I was in danger. It was an accident and I understood that. Accidents happen. I was fine. Butch kept hinting at his fear that I would sue the stables for negligence, but I assured him that it was no one's fault, I knew that falling was a possibility, and I didn't blame anyone for what happened. I could tell he was still nervous, but I kept saying "It's no one's fault".

Notice the wet sand on my lower leg and jacket? But also notice I'm smiling???

We rode up the rest of the beach, onto a trail and back to the beach headed the other way. When we got back to the trailer, Dunny was still there, making noises as if to say "Well well well, look what the cat dragged in". It was pretty funny. Jake and I thanked Butch for the fun time and I again said "I'm not angry. It was an accident. It's no one's fault." I even wrote an email this morning thanking the owners for the nice time and assuring them that nothing bad was going to happen from my end and that I would recommend them to anyone.


So my first 30 before 30 activity is completed. And I'm still alive. :) But I would go riding again in a hot minute.

See? I made it! :)

10 years ago...

I was a senior in high school, and my Dad was driving me to school. I was about a week away from taking my driver test. My Dad was about to turn the corner to drop me off when I got a call on my cell phone from my mom who was already at work.

"I want to make sure you're alright" she said.

"I'm fine, why?" I replied.

"Did you watch the news this morning at all?" she asked.

"No, I didn't have a chance to, why?" I asked back.

"A plane has crashed into the World Trade Center in New York."

"Oh, no I haven't heard anything, but I'm OK" I said.

"OK, well if you need anything, I'm here so give me a call. I love you" she said.

"I love you too Mom, I'll talk to you later."

I got onto campus, and a different energy than usual permeated the air. Something was horribly wrong, and I could feel it. I walked to a familiar hang out and a classmate was on the phone with his Dad, talking about what happened. "They think San Francisco is next" he told me. WHAT? What was going on? I got into my class early; I was a teacher's aide for the Photography class. He had the news going and that was the moment I first saw them. Both towers were standing tall above the New York skyline, dark smoke billowing from the tops like huge chimneys. I didn't understand, who would do this? America, my country that I am so in love with, was being attacked.

The class milled in slowly as the TV still played. That day, there was no going onto campus to work on projects, no students in the dark room to process images. The teacher made no demands to do any work. We all just sat together and watched. Towards the middle of class, the first tower fell. Shortly after, the second tower fell. My mouth dropped to the floor as I saw the buildings disappear into a massive cloud of dust, ash and death below. It was gone.

The teacher muted the TV and said "Class, I need your attention for a moment." We all turned his way to hear what he had to say.

"I don't know if you realize this, but we now live in a world where the World Trade Center no longer exists." Then it hit me.

I'd always had this idealistic view of my country. We were the beloved ones who did no wrong. No one could hate us so much to hurt us in such a way as that day. The rose colored glasses were ripped off my face. People hated us, somw so much to hurt us. The only reason the people did this the way they did is to just kill. Kill as many people as possible at one time to make a statement. Well, the statement was made. Point taken.

I didn't know how to react. I was just numb. I hadn't seen the planes go into the buildings, just the buildings themselves on fire and imploding. Through the rest of the day, there was no classwork, no lectures, no notes taken. It was all of us glued to the TVs, in disbelief that what had happened, happened. Then the end of my classes had come and my Dad was waiting to pick me up. As I sat in his truck on the ride home, I just stared into space. We stopped at the grocery store, and as I got out to follow him in, the tears came. They didn't stop. All my Dad could do was hold me in the parking lot of a grocery store. He said "I know. I know. I'm angry too."

That night my parents and I watched the news together and I got to see the planes go into the buildings for the first time. There were different angles of the impacts taken by different people. The one that hit me the most was a view from below of the 2nd plane. You could see the windows on the airliner plane. It hit me again. There were people on those planes who could see their deaths in front of them. I could imagine them praying, screaming, crying, holding each other. I could see them calling their loved ones to tell them they loved them one last time. It hit me again, and I cried uncontrollably. Our country was attacked, and it's innocent citizens were mass casualties of war.

Also during that day, I have a cousin who lives in New Jersey, but was working in Manhattan at the time. Her parents as well as the rest of the family were trying desperately to get a hold of her to make sure she was OK. She called us to let us know she was fine and had to take a ferry from Manhattan to New Jersey, and walk home to Hoboken. The whole journey took her about 7 hours if I remember correctly, but she saw everything happen from the roof of her office.

10 years later, the images still haunt me. I sometimes YouTube the videos to remind myself that what happened was real. Now I'm 27, married, have a 5 month old daughter and 3 cats. I had always wanted to go pay my respects in New York and visit Ground Zero. I feel I need to, still. I feel I need to go there to tell those that died that even though I wasn't there physically that day, that I think about them.

9/11/2001 - I will never forget.

Scarlett - 4 months old

Dear Scarlett,

Wow...these months are going by sooo fast! I can't believe you're already 4 months old! It seems just yesterday we packed your tiny little self into your car seat for the first time to bring you home.

We've been notified by your doctor (who LOVES you by the way) that you're teething. You're still in the beginning stages of it, which is good and yo've handled it well so far but I know there's WAY more to come. I guess I better buckle my seatbelt, huh? You've also been to Physical Therapy because you tend to favor your right side. Your Physical Therapist is in love with you and you had so much fun playing with her during your appointment. We got you some new toys to play with and you tend to like things that make noise like rattles.

We went camping a few weeks ago and it was definitely an experience with a small baby. You were such a good girl and handled being outside all the time very well. You handled the near freezing temperatures at night well too, you poor thing. It was also the first time you rode in your stroller without your carseat (just around the campsite) and you seemed to enjoy it for the most part.

You started sitting in your high chair like a big girl and Daddy and I have taken to including you in dinnertime by putting you in your chair while we eat. We put your toys on your tray so you have something to entertain you, but I want to make it so we always eat together. Grandma and Grandpa did that with me when I was young, and I loved it.

Tummy time was a little bit of a struggle at first, but you're becoming a lot more tolerant and are even lifting yourself up onto your elbows. You tend to get a little frustrated after a while, but I know that's OK. You're growing up so fast!

I look at you every day and am amazed that you're mine and Daddy's. Your little personality peeks out every single day and you're such a sweet baby. You love to giggle and smile and you definitely LOOOOOVE your Daddy.

You amaze me every day. We love you our gorgeous girl.

Love,

Mommy

So, there's an explanation

So I know I've been MIA...but there's a REALLY good reason...I PROMISE.

Right now, I have two jobs. Let me explain...

I work for my MIL, and when I went into labor and had the baby, it was the middle of tax season, which is our main business. By the time it was time for me to come back to work, tax season was over and MIL wanted to keep our part-time tax preparer. So about a week before I was due back to work, MIL asked me what my plans were - to come back to work part time and work my way up to full time, or come back full time straight off the bat. I chose the latter. It was later revealed that she had decided there wasn't enough work for me to do, and that I would need to either just work part time until she deemed it necessary to increase my hours, or find another part time job. I instantly was given an email from a tax client who is the office manager at an engineering firm that is pretty local. Within two days of contacting her, I was hired. So now I have two jobs.

Now on top of that, at Job #1 (MIL's company), I got a BIG client that requires my presence at their office 2 days a week in the afternoons. So here's my weekly schedule:

Monday: Job #1 (8:30-12:45) then Job #2 (1-5)
Tuesday: Job #1 (8:30 - 1:45) then Job #1 Client (2-5)
Wednesday: Job #1 (8:30-12:45) then Job #2 (1-5)
Thursday: Job #1 (8:30-1:45) then Job #1 Client (2-5)
Friday: Job #1 (8:30-12:45) then Job #2 (1-5)

Now on tope of this, here was our weekends for the month of July:

4th of July weekend
9th/10th - My Dad's birthday weekend
16th/17th - went camping in Tahoe
23rd/24th - Scarlett's Baptism then our nephew's birthday party

As you can probably tell...I'm a wee bit EXHAUSTED!!! In the middle of working a crazy schedule, having a teething 4-month old, weekend obligations and trying to catch up on sleep, I havent had much time for blogging. I do apologize from the bottom of my heart...I really do.

I missed Scarlett's 4-month letter, which I hope to post soon. I also want to share pictures of her Baptism, so please bear with me. I love you all!

OK, here's the list

So I know I haven't been posting much (well let's face it, not at all really), but I have a GREAT explanation...I really do. I've got two jobs now and one job has me going to a client's office half days when I'm not working job #2...it's kind of complicated. That being said...

I've been thinking of compiling a "30 before 30" list. It's 30 things I'd like to do and experience before turning 30 years old. Some of them are easy-peasy. Some of them are REALLY outside my comfort zone. I'm hoping you will be here to see me document my progress. So here it goes:

LoLo's 30 Before 30



1. Learn Gaelic (not the entire language, just a few sentences)
2. Learn Portuguese (again, not the entire language)
3. Visit Pearl Harbor
4. Fly the trapeze
5. Participate in the 3-Day Breast Cancer walk
6. Stomp grapes
7. Get another tattoo
8. Learn to drive a stick-shift
9. Eat vegetarian for a month
10. Sing karaoke
11. Race go karts
12. Ride a mechanical bull
13. Take flying lessons
14. Learn to sew with a sewing machine
15. Take a cake decorating class
16. Learn to play the piano
17. Take ballroom dancing lessons
18. Lose 30 pounds
19. Take a metal jewelry class
20. Go on a helicopter tour of SF
21. Ride in a hot air balloon
22. Attend a Renaissance Faire
23. Hold a dinner party
24. Buy a new couch
25. Hike Mt. Tam
26. Visit the Lick Observatory
27. Drive a golf cart, and play the course with Jake
28. Go to Vegas
29. Go horseback riding again
30. Take Scarlett to Texas via an airplane

So there you have it. I will post this on the side of my blog, so I can track my progress. Here goes nothin' people.

Scarlett - 3 months old

Dear Scarlett-





Wow, this month has been quite a ride. Right after your growth spurt, you had your first physical checkup with your doctor...but that checkup also came with shots. You were SO not a happy camper, but you took things like a trooper. You are one tough little cookie; speaking of which...


You have quite the temper. I think it's the Portuguese, Irish and German in you. When you are uncomfortable, or hungry and not getting your way when you want it, you put up quite a fuss. On one hand, I should've seen it coming because I'm stubborn as well. On the other, I didn't expect that aspect of your personality to pop up so soon. It's OK though, it just means you're more like your namesake than ever.


You're getting more into the groove of tummy time vs. before when you would just scream the whole time. Now you actually hold your head up for a few minutes and look at Daddy or I when we're down on the floor with you. You L-O-V-E your Daddy. You and he have this special bond that I'm so grateful for. You definitely have your father wrapped around your tiny finger, and it shows. That being said, it's the same with your Grandpa and Grandma. They LOVE you too, and it shows. Grandma is making sure your addiction to Hello Kitty is as deep as mine. :)


By the Grace of God, you've been sleeping through the night lately. I know now that I've said that out loud, those days will be gone for a while. You're currently on the down slope of your first cold and you've handled it like a true champ. It could've been a whole lot worse than it is, but I'm grateful that you got a "light" cold that seemed to only give you the sniffles.


You continue to amaze and surprise me every day with how much you're growing and how much the person that you are/will become is peeking out every day. I can't wait to find out what tomorrow will bring!


We love you our gorgeous girl!



Love,
Mommy

Sorry to be absent...

Things are crazy busy right now. Here's a quick update and I will elaborate later...

1. I got a new job...a part time one after maternity leave was over. I still have my old job, but that has also been transitioned into part time. More to come later.

2. Scarlett's 3 month "birthday" post is coming, I promise.

3. Scarlett is also battling her first cold...well it's more like the sniffles but it still sucks. She's a little trooper though.

4. True Blood season 4 started...need I say more?

5. Jake starts school in August, so we're trying to gear up for that with scheduling and the baby.

6. I have come to some personal revelations and epiphanies that I'm not comfortable sharing on this blog at the moment, but maybe soon I will be able to come out with what's on my mind.

Whew...yeah...I truly apologize for my lax in blogging, but I promise to check in again and elaborate on some items here. Stay with me people...I am alive. :)

Martha Stewart took over!

I can't believe the weekend is already over, yet again! Like most people, I am an avid fan of the 3-day weekend. Who isn't?

Between Jake and I, we got so much done this weekend around the house. Just to wrap my own head around the volume of tasks/stuff that got done, I need to list it.

Saturday:

-Errands to Target for baby stuff, OSH for new flowers and potting soil, Petsmart for cat food
-Goodwill run
-Potted the new flowers I bought from OSH for our front porch
-Baked Peanut Butter and Chocolate Chip cookies
-Cleaned the bathroom and kitchen
-Organized Scarlett's clothes so the larger sizes are more accessible than being in the other drawers of her dresser

Sunday:
- Went to the Farmer's Market in San Rafael with Jake, and our friends Cara and Colin
- Had lunch with Jake and Scarlett at the Marin Brewing Company on the way home
- Baked blueberry muffins from scratch with the fresh blueberries from the Farmers Market
- Jake organized his closet, I organized my closet
-Folded the gigantic pile of clean laundry
-Vacuumed the entire house
- Sterilized Scarlett's binkies and nipples

Whew!
All the tasks at home really needed to be done and I have been itching to bake for a while. The house is really the cleanest it's been since before Scarlett was born.

I also have to give a shout out to one of the vendors at the Farmers Market. It's The Golden Waffle which makes Belgian waffles with pearl sugar. I had one on Sunday morning with Nutella smeared on the top...YUMMY!!!! It was soooo good. HERE is their website.

PCOS to Parenthood - Part 3

...

In February 2005, I had a profile on Yahoo Personals. In the past, I hadn’t really pursued relationships with anyone I had met, and most had become either friendly acquaintances, or just friends. I was in a very toxic relationship that was off-and-on for a couple of years (not the same as my high school relationship), and was looking for an out. I was lonely and felt used by that person and I knew I wanted to find someone that would hold a level of respect for me that didn’t include using my family and me for money and other luxuries. I had decided to spruce up my profile and just let it be for a little while. I met some good people, but wasn’t really looking for a serious relationship (hey, I’m being honest). All of a sudden, there was an “ice breaker” in my email, which was a free pre-worded sentence that you could send to someone you wanted to talk to more after viewing their profile. It was from a person who didn’t have a picture in his profile, which to me was a HUGE no-no. But, for some reason I’ll never know, I decided to read his interests and what he was looking for. He had mentioned movies, which was a HUGE plus in my book since I’m an avid moviegoer myself. He sounded intelligent and he had my four requirements – taller than me, older than me, a job (so I wouldn’t have to give him money all the time) and a car (so I didn’t have to drive him everywhere). I sent him an ice-breaker back, and then got an actual message from him. I decided to fork over the $20 to get the ability to message him back. Pretty soon, we were talking online in real time and 3 weeks later, he asked me out on my first real date…ever. His name was Jake and it was the best date I could’ve ever asked for as my first. He even brought me purple carnations (my favorite color, and because he couldn’t find purple roses after calling all the florists he could think of).

After 6 months of dating, Jake and I decided to take a weekend and go down to Monterey for our 6 month anniversary. We both love the beach and he hadn’t been to the Monterey Bay Aquarium in a really long time. We had talked about marriage and looked at rings, and I knew a proposal was coming, but didn’t know when. We walked to the beach after checking into our B&B and ended up at a park called Lovers Point with a rock formation that shoots out into the ocean. He decided he wanted to “hike” the rocks and I decided “Hey why not”. By the time we got to the end, I had twisted my ankle a tiny bit and needed to sit down. He sat next to me, put his arm around me and said “Do you know how much I love you?” I said “I’m sure I have an idea, but you can tell me again if you want” ;) He began to tell me how lost he was before we met and how I brought him such happiness and love that he never knew he could have with someone. As he was talking, he pulled out a small black box from his camera bag and opened it. All I could do was cry. Finally he said “Will you marry me?” and through my tears and disbelief that this was actually happening, I said “yes”. As we walked the trail from the park to the aquarium, I began to realize that in the 6 months Jake had been in my life, I had eliminated the toxic people in my life, I had a stable job, was going back to college, we were in the process of moving in together with 3 kittens we had just adopted/rescued, and my relationship with my parents was vastly improving. He was the one who was there for me while I rebuilt my life, but wasn’t willing to solve my problems or rebuild my life for me. He allowed me to be the person I wanted to without doing anything but being there. I was going to marry Jake, the first MAN I had ever loved.

Balsamic Roasted Pork Loin

Wow...how long has it been since I've posted a recipe!? Holy cow! Or in this case, Holy Pig!

I've been making more of an effort to post on the blog, and try new recipes. My goal is to try a new recipe at least once every two week, then get more ambitious and try a new one at least once a week. It could be a main dish, a side dish, dessert, or baked goodies (because we all know how great those are!)

I'm not a fan of the pork chop. I used to be until I saw a video on YouTube that changed everything (long story, don't ask). For some reason, though, pork loin doesn't bother me. So while on allrecipes.com, my go-to place for new ideas for meals, I stumbled across this recipe and thought I would share. It was dee-lish! :)

Balsamic Roasted Pork Tenderloin
Recipe by Melissa S. of allrecipes.com and photo by Lori L. of allrecipes.com

Prep Time: 5 mins (2 hours to marinade), Cook Time: 1 hour, TOTAL: 3 hrs. 5 mins.
Serves 4

1 lb pork tenderloin or roast
1 tablespoon steak seasoning rub
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup EVOO

1. Dissolve steak rub in balsamic vinegar, then stir in EVOO. Put pork into Ziploc bag and add marinade into bag with pork. Make sure the marinade covers the pork. Refridgerate for 2 hours (or overnight if you'd like).

2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Farenheit.

3. Put pork into glass baking dish along with the marinade. Bake in preheated oven for 1 hour, basting occasionally (if you can) until the center of the pork reaches 145 degrees F. Let rest for 10 minutes before slicing.

Enjoy!

PCOS to Parenthood - Part 2

...


Fast forward to my senior year, and things started happening to my body that were not expected. I began growing small patches of facial hair, but nothing that wasn’t remedied by a pair of tweezers. My abdomen was where I was holding most of my weight. I wasn’t a fan of how I looked and it’s where I first began to really have body image issues. When I was diagnosed with PCOS, I was unaware of the long term effects and what havoc it could wreak on my body. That’s when I first started researching possible treatments for PCOS, which at the time, there were none. Being on birth control was my best option, so I kept at it. The pill gave me a monthly cycle, for which I was grateful. It seemed to be working the way it was meant to. I was in a long term relationship at the time and I figured as long as I kept up with the hormone treatment and kept my handy dandy tweezers with me, I was all good. Of course as time wore on and I grew older, the effects of PCOS began to take hold of me. I still grapple with most of the symptoms today. But, in reading and researching this seemingly “phantom” disease I have, I read the one word I didn’t want to…infertility. At the second I read that word, I knew then that I would need medical assistance in becoming a mother. I had always had a dream of being two things in life: A wife and a mother.

A few years ago, I was an avid fan of the HBO show Sex and the City. There’s a character named Charlotte who was trying to get pregnant with her first husband, Trey. She tried for 3 months before diving in head first into IVF treatment. I was unaware of IVF treatment and the invasiveness of the procedures, but was aware of the occurrence of multiple fetuses in such pregnancies. When Charlotte and Trey divorced and Charlotte met her husband Harry, the two (Charlotte and Harry) were having a conversation about having children. When Harry expressed his desire to have children, Charlotte’s face shows the hurt and fear she held before telling him “…it’s not impossible, but it’s difficult”. In watching that scene and how accepting Harry was of Charlotte’s issue, I knew I would have to have that same conversation with my future husband, and I would only hope and pray that he would be as loving and accepting of my issue as Harry.

To be continued...

Scarlett - Two months old

Dear Scarlett-

Well, here we are, another month flown by.

You are growing like a weed babycakes, and I can't believe you're out of newborn clothes and diapers and into some bigger sizes. You're still a little munchkin, but you are growing fast. Many people have commented on how much bigger you are compared to when they first saw you. I wish you could remain my tiny little peanut forever, but I know you have to grow up.

You are smiling more and more each day and you've started "talking" to me when you smile, and when you play in your floor gym. When you get excited, you start to wave your arms and kick your legs all while breathing at an excited pace. I love hearing your little voice, it's a beautiful sound. You're growing more tolerant of tummy time, but you do get a little mad towards the end each time.

You went through a growth spurt which threw us for a loop with a sudden change in your sleep habits, but other than that, you are sleeping more through the night. Daddy and I have noticed that you are like me in that you don't like your feet covered. You could be wrapped up like a little burrito, but your feet will stick out of the bottom of the blanket. You also tend to wiggle your feet and toes when you are relaxed. That's a trait of mine as well. You are proving to be very ticklish and are starting to smile when we tickle you instead of get mad.

Your personality is peeking out more and more. You're still a little camel with being pratically insatiable when it comes to feeding. You love your milk still, there's no doubt about that.

Tomorrow is the big day where we get to see exactly how much you've grown, and also get your first shots. Daddy and I will be there for you baby, always.

We love you our gorgeous girl.

Love, Mommy

4 years ago...

Wow...4 years. Has it really been that long? I was getting ready to marry my best friend, my husband, the love of my life.



This year has really been something, hasn't it? We went to Tahoe last year in June, then 2 months later, found out we were pregnant. It's been a heck of a year, for sure. But one thing remains the same...that Jake and I are a team. I don't know how I would get along without him. Life wouldn't be as fun, or funny for that matter.




Happy Anniversary Jake! :)

On our honeymoon in Jamaica

Happy Mother's Day

Here's to the first of many to come...

Mother's Day thoughts...

Tomorrow is my first Mother's Day ever. As I type those words "out loud", I find it hard to wrap my brain around the fact that I am a mother. I am a mommy. I'm a mom.

As I sit and (sort of) watch my beautiful daughter sleep in her bassinet, I also find myself remembering how I got here. And it wasn't just me. It was Jake, my wonderful husband, who was my strength and hope throughout the entire process of infertility. He was my biggest cheerleader, and lead me back onto the path when I was desperate to just sit down and throw in the towel. And there's my family...my amazing family. From across the country to across the street, everyone lent support and a willing shoulder and ear. To them I cried, I smiled, I vented and explained. There was no judgement or prejudice. There was only love, and I truly felt the meaning of the word "family". Even those who I wasn't close to growing up were there for me in ways I never expected, but deeply appreciate to this day and always will.

My Mom and Dad who offered me everything from arms to hug me when I was in tears, to hours long phone calls and telling me everything will be OK. My time would come, and the baby that was meant to be mine would come one day.

But tomorrow is a day that will hold so much meaning for me. I mean, it always has as I have always been very close to my mom. But now, I am on the other side of the bridge. I'm the mom now. I'm not just the daughter celebrating her mother, but I'm also now a mother celebrating the reason why tomorrow has been taken to a whole new level in my life.

Of course, I also remember those who are still trying to become moms or those who are moms of little angel babies. I would never forget those who share the "process" and experiences I had. Please keep the faith that everything will work out. Because it will.

So as today's sun sets, and I look at my daughter's sleeping face, I can't help but think...I finally made it. I'm a mom...and nothing can change that.

Happy Mother's Day!

Newborn Pictures

Here are some of our newborn pictures that were taken by the very talented KellyMPhotography. I absolutely LOVE these photos and I honestly can't pick a favorite.

Enjoy!

Maternity Photos

I have been meaning to post some of our maternity pictures for a while, but as you can probably guess, we've been a little busy.

Thank you to KellyMPhotography for such beautiful images. I promise to post some of Scarlett's newborn pictures soon!

Enjoy!

Game of Thrones

Jake and I have been watching a new show on HBO based on the book A Song of Fire and Ice. The show itself is called Game of Thrones, and the intro to each episode is really awesome to watch. The buildings grow out of the map like clock gears, and the music sets the tone for the show perfectly. So here's the intro..enjoy!

Happy Easter

From Scarlett!

The best part...bunny butt!

Scarlett - 1 month old

Dear Scarlett,

It's hard to believe that one short/long month ago, you entered your Daddy and my lives. Of course, you needed to have a dramatic entrance (you must get that from me) and come 4 weeks early on the night of the Super Moon. 27 hours later, you officially arrived and it's been a wild ride ever since.

I notice that you respond to my voice and look at me when I call your name, or when I'm feeding you. The other day I was singing your favorite song to you ("Imagine" by the Beatles) and you just stared at me the entire time. You also lift your head when I hold you to my chest and today, you actually smiled...at least while you were awake. You LOVE your bouncy chair and even the swing...if only I could take them for a ride too. You definitely have a little Irish temper, and you don't play around when it comes to food. You like your milk, and you like it NOW! :)

Your Daddy is quite smitten with you. He loves holding you, feeding you and even changing your diaper. I can tell you two have a really special bond and I love seeing it grow day by day.

You are more than I could have ever hoped for. You have gorgeous blue eyes and wispy brown hair (which I swear is turning a little blond). I look at you every day in amazement that after 3 years, your Daddy and I finally have you in our lives. I prayed every day for you, and I'm so grateful that I get to know you. We love you Scooter...always and forever.

Love, Mommy

PCOS to Parenthood - Part 1

I guess to begin any story, you’d have to start at the beginning, which for me in the unbelievable journey I’m on started when I was 15 years old.

I was a freshman in high school and incredibly naïve. I had a core group of about 3 friends and all of them would share horror stories of “that time of the month” and help each other in a bind. I would always play it up that I had my own cycles under control, but in reality it was the opposite. I had officially “become a woman” at 13 and my cycles were irregular which, I was told, was to be expected in the beginning and would eventually straighten themselves out. But I was 15, and hadn’t had a cycle in about a year and a half. I was enjoying not having the embarrassing moments my friends had of having to RUN to the bathroom and borrow feminine products from each other, but in the back of my mind, I was worried. I could tell something wasn’t right. There had to be a reason why everyone around me was “functioning” regularly and I wasn’t. Finally there were a few months of cycles and I was relieved at first and hoped that my worries were all for naught. Then, nothing…for 9 months I went cycle-less again. Now I KNEW something was wrong. This wasn’t normal. Finally my mom and I decided it was time to see a doctor. I remember the doctor. She was a middle-aged Hindu woman who we’ll call Dr. M. She was kind and addressed my mother’s concerns with the one thing I dreaded most…a blood test. I hadn’t had one since I was 3 years old and now, at 15, I was scheduled to take 7 (yes, SEVEN) vials of blood for various tests to see what was going on. I remember crying the entire time because I was afraid. I had a tendency to faint while getting blood drawn, so I was in a private room on a gurney, staring out the mini-blind-covered window thinking about the tree outside blowing in the breeze. Oh I would give anything to be that tree rather than getting blood taken from me. I understood the need for 3 or even 4 vials, but SEVEN? I wasn’t happy.
After a few days, I had to go back to see Dr. M for the results and prognosis. Both my mom and I went in there determined to find out why I was having this issue. The doctor, in her thick Hindu accent stated that she had the results from my blood tests – it was something called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Well, she might as well have been speaking Japanese for all I knew because I had no clue what it was. She stated that it is simply a hormone deficiency and since it had been found at a relatively early age, the easiest course of treatment she recommended was to put me on birth control pills as a form of hormone therapy, hoping that my pubescent, teenage body would turn itself around. My mother was devastated. It wasn’t because of the diagnosis, but the treatment. She wasn’t keen on the thought of having a 15-year old daughter on birth control pills. Of course I was still a virgin at the time and had taken a vow of abstinence, therefore I had to explain that the birth control wasn’t for its “conventional” purposes, but rather think of it as medicine for a physical condition. She still was uneasy about the thought, but in my heart, I knew the REAL reason as to why I was prescribed this medication and promised not to abuse it for other purposes.

To be continued...

By popular demand...

Pictures of the wee one.

She now has several nicknames: Squirt, Scooter, Midget and Truffle Cheeks (can you tell which one I came up with?) ;)

A Single Day

A thought... All growing up, I would think about how a single day would change everything. It would make your life switch gears and never be the same. However, before that significant event happened on it's designated day, you'd never suspect on that date in previous years that your life would change. All my life, March 21 was just another day. It was a day I would wake up and eat breakfast, go to school or work and live my life. It was just March 21st...an insignificant day. Just a day..no biggie. Now, March 21st holds so much meaning to me, but it didn't until this past March 21st. Now, for the rest of my life, that day will hold SO much meaning to me. It won't be just another meaningless day. It's my daughter's birthday. It's a day where the course of my life was changed forever. It's the day Jake and my daughter was welcomed into this world after so much struggle to have her here with us. Now March 21st might just be my favorite day of the year. Also, an odd tidbit...March's birthstone is Aquamarine. My "something blue" for my wedding was I wore Aquamarine earrings. Queue the Twilight Zone theme...just kidding. :)

Scarlett's Nursery

So, here is the finished product. I was on the lookout for something to put over her dresser/changing table. I wanted to put something there that was meaningful to me. All I could think of was my childhood. When I was little, my Dad would carry me up and down the hallway singing "You Are My Sunshine" in the middle of the night. That's always been out song. So I went to etsy.com and found someone who had the first few verses from the song printed out and I put them in white frames. So now above her dresser, the pictures say "You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine" and then the other says "You Make Me Happy When Skies Are Gray". I love it!

Here are the pictures...hope you like it!

Scarlett's crib with bedding and her bunting (banner)

Her bookshelf and the most comfy glider ever

Dresser/changing table

The entire room. I love it!

First Bath

This past weekend, my parents came to see Scarlett and help around the house since our trip to the hospital was really a whirlwind.

One of the things we really struggled with was the levels of Scarlett's bilirubin. Too much bilirubin = jaundice. More than half of babies that are born get jaundice because their liver immature, especially in preemies which is was Scarlett is classified as. The instance of jaundice in preemies is even more. During our hospital stay, Scarlett had to spend 24 hours under special lights to help breakdown the bilirubin so her jaundice would go away. When we were discharged, we had to go to the lab and have her blood tested again, which showed that her bilirubin was rebounding, but not majorly. We were told by the doctor that until her bilirubin levels were on the downturn, that our poor baby would have to be tested every day until the downturn showed. So essentially, her little tiny heels were sliced every. single. day. for the first almost-week of her life. I was so mad. But her bilirubin went down and now she's fine. No jaundice, no more labs.

Anyways, so we were waiting until her tests would be done before giving her a bath. When the day came where our pediatrician told us we wouldn't have to be on a first-name basis with the lab techs, we decided we would give Scarlett her first at-home bath. We broke out her whale tub and began her sponge bath (since her belly button hasn't "fallen off" yet). I didn't get to take any pictures because I was the torturer, or at least I felt like it with how much she was wailing. After all was said and done, she was wrapped up safe and warm in her hooded towel. I did manage to snap a few pics.

"Please mommy, make it stop!" ;)

Peek-a-boo!

What is this thing on my head?

Special Delivery!

Saturday, March 19th was our 2nd baby shower. My aunt had offered to host it for Jake and I for our family, and my aunt has always been a caring and gracious hostess to many a family gathering. I had tons of fun with Jake and my families and when I got home, Jake was anxious to see everything and hear how it went since he had to work. The first thing he wanted to do was put together the stroller and put Scarlett's bedding on her crib. First, we had to run errands in Concord, so we did and ended up having dinner up there too. We made it home by about 9pm.

By 10:30, we had put Scarlett's new bedding in her crib and had JUST finished putting her stroller and carseat together. Jake wheeled it through the house and into the nursery. I was sitting on the living room couch, reading the instructions for the stroller (don't know why). Jake walked in, began to ask me something and I felt this GUSH like I had just peed my pants. I shot straight up while sitting and gasped the biggest gasp I've ever done. Jake looked at me and said "What is it?" I instantly ran to the bathroom, and checked it out. I (according to Jake) had this shocked and panicked look on my face like something was terribly wrong. Again he asked me "What's wrong". All I could say was "My water just broke".

10:35pm: Jake grabbed my phone and I called L&D. The nurse warned me that if it was indeed my water breaking (or broken), that it would continue to flow and to be careful. I took a quick shower, put on some clean clothes and called my parents and sister in law to tell them what happened. After that, I called our neighbor across the street to ask her to watch the house/cats while we were gone. We hadn't packed a hospital bag (it was on the to-do list for the next day), so we were frantically trying to get everything in the bag. Also, we had just gotten the carseat, so it wasn't installed yet. Jake tried, in the dark and rain to install the base, but couldn't. We decided to just put the carseat in the car and worry about it when we got there. I told him he could always go to the local fire department and have them install it for us if need be.

11:30pm: We arrived at Walnut Creek Kaiser and got to L&D triage. I was checked in and changed into what would be my outfit for the next 48 hours. They looked and indeed my water had "grossly ruptured" (verbatim from the nurse) and had an ultrasound done. Thank God baby was still head down. I had a chance to do a vaginal delivery, which I wasn't going to have if she was breech again. While in triage, we were told my parents had arrived, but they couldn't come in until I was given a room. The doctor on duty was a petite lady with spiral curly blond hair, which apparently matched her personality. At one point, she said to me "I'm thinking...because that's what you do with your brain". I thought to myself "Oh great, if she's it, I'm in for one hell of a ride here".

3/20 12:30-1am: A nurse named Lolly came in to give my IV, my first one without local anesthesia. I had one before while having my wisdom teeth out, but I was numbed up first. She decided to go with a saline block on my left hand, so I was able to move freely about the room because I wasn't in active labor yet. 10 minutes later, she came back into the room and I was informed that I also had to have a block on my right hand since I had gestational diabetes and they couldn't cross Pitocin (if needed) with insulin and dextrose. So, I ended up having two IV blocks, one in each hand - one for saline and Pit and the other for the dextrose/insulin cocktail. I count myself lucky, though, that she was able to get me with the first stick each time. And let's not forget about the hospital bands. I had 4 - one orange for indication of drug allergies (I have none), My general hospital admission band, my blood-type indicator band for L&D and then I have the most important one - the one that both Jake and I had to wear - that whatever little person was going to be born that day, that they were ours. Lolly also hooked me up to a fetal heart monitor and a contraction monitor via monitor pads on my belly strapped down with elastic/velcro straps as well as a blood pressure cuff on my right arm that would measure my blood pressure every 15 minutes. All I had to do now was sit and wait for the show to begin. About an hour later, VERY mild contractions started to show. It felt like someone was just pushing on my belly. My parents who had been there the entire time were tired and wanted to go home for the night since nothing was expected to happen until the next day.

Me with my "vines" of IV tubes (two on each side of me)

3/20 3:30-4am: The contractions woke me up from a sound sleep and weren't really unbearable. They just felt more like cramps, bigger ones. At one point (this might be TMI) I decided I had to go to the bathroom, and began to lift my left leg to use it as leverage to roll over, sit up, then stand. As soon as I lifted my leg and put a little abdominal effort behind my "lift"...it happened. Pretty much ALL of my remaining amniotic fluid came flowing out like a frikkin water fountain. I panicked and called Jake over. All I could say was "I'm losing all the fluid and there's nothing I can do about it". The nurse came in, checked me out and I was OK - physically. Mentally though, feeling something like that and you have no control is a truly strange feeling. So I went to the bathroom while the nurse cleaned up the bed and I tried to go back to sleep. After climbing back into bed I thought to myself "Now there's no cushion for contractions. It's about to get VERY interesting from here".

3/20 4:30-5am: The baby kept moving away from the fetal heart monitor that was strapped to me, so it was decided by my doctor on duty that they would place an interal fetal heart monitor into me. Fun times.

3/20 9-10am: My parents called and said they were on their way in a few minutes and the contractions were pretty painful at this point. I was having a hard time breathing through them and as such began to panic a little. When I panicked, I would forget to breathe and therefore became nauseated. I had in our birth plan that when I looked uncomfortable, to offer me drugs since I'm the kind of person who wouldn't ask for them on my own because I'd be afraid of "being a burden", which I admit now was STUPID. They offered me a pain med called Fentanyl, which they said would work almost instantly, but only last for an hour. I wasn't ready to accept an epidural since I was only 3cm dilated. I wanted to see how far I could take this before needing medication. I knew I was not going to be able to handle a completely med-free birth. I knew my limitations, and I was getting there fast. The contractions were concentrating their "wrath" on my right hip, which felt like someone was twisting a hot poker into my bone and I just wanted to get through the contractions a little to get a little rest. I must also mention that during this entire time, the nurses would come every hour on the hour to prick my fingers to check my glucose level. And they didn't use the delicate needles I used at home. They used the HUGE, nasty lancets that looked like they were made in the late 90's that needed a TON of blood to make the glucose machine function. This definitely cut in on my "rest" that everyone was telling me I needed.

3/20 Noon-1pm: I was dilated to 4cm, and the contraction pain was so unbearable, and I had two Fentanyl injections, each only lasting about 20 minutes of effectiveness. I felt I wasn't going to last the labor considering I was in major pain and only 4cm. The nurse who was working with me told me that there was nothing wrong with wanting to be somewhat comfortable and that I would possibly make more progress because I could concentrate more on getting through the contractions rather than concentrating on getting rid of the pain from the contractions. So I talked about it with Jake and we decided that I would get the epi. The anesthesiologist was there in 15 minutes. I had had 2 epidural steroid injections for back pain before, so I knew how to curve my back. Of course, at those times I wasn't in labor and hooked up to numerous vines of IV meds. The nurse held me up while Jake held my hand. During the epidural, I had a contraction and the blood pressure cuff was making it's (painful) measurement at the same time, so I didn't really feel anything after the local anesthesia was given. It was the smoothest epidural I've ever had. About 10 minutes later, I was able to breathe through the contractions without losing my cool and getting nauseated again.

3/20 5-6pm: I was dilated to about 6, and the contractions were getting stronger. At this point, I was given an oxygen mask and was asked to breathe into it while going through a contraction, to give as much pure oxygen as possible to myself and therefore the baby. Also, it was noticed that when I had a contraction, her heart rate would dip a little. I was told to lay on my left side from then on. Of course, this meant that the epidural meds would pool (via gravity) to whatever lower side I was laying on, which was my left. For the next few hours, I felt nothing in my left side and EVERYTHING on my right. It was pretty painful, but I kept thinking that feeling half was better than feeling everything and through long, deep breaths, I was able to get through the contractions.

3/20 7-8pm: The contractions were horrible. I was starting to panic a little and was PRAYING that I was dilated more. I called the nurse in and asked when I would be measured again, hoping beyond hope that God gave me a break and I was ready to push or dilated enough to where I felt I could push in the next hour or so. When the doctor did come and measured me, she said I was between 8 and 9cm. I lost it. I called Jake over, in tears telling him I didn't think I could do this anymore. I was seriously considering asking for a c-section because I wanted this baby OUT! Jake held my hand and told me that this is what we've worked so hard for and the experience we were having as a family was worth the wait and work, that he loved me and no matter what I decided, he would be there for me and the baby. I decided to push on through the pain and try to make it. He sat with me the entire time after that, rubbing my leg and telling me when a contraction was going to hit and when it was going down so I knew when the pain would come and when it would go. Having him do that was a MIRACLE. I felt with his help, the pain was more manageable because he could let me know when the end would come.

3/20 8:45-9:00pm: The doctor came back and checked me. I was fully dilated, but my cervix had a "lip" on the right side that wasn't fully pulled back in dilation. However, when a contraction hit, the "lip" would pull back, so she didn't see anything wrong with having me push. Of course the contractions were pretty substantial, but I was so tired and pretty much reconciled that this was the card I was dealt and all I could do was breathe/moan through it. I didn't know at the time, but apparently when the contractions came, Scarlett's heart rate would dip to an almost dangerous level, but would rebound and correct itself fairly quickly between contractions, so the doctor's were kind of concerned, but as long as her heart rate wouldn't dip too low for too long, they would just keep an eye on her. The doctor's told me in about 10-15 minutes, I would be able to push. When they checked me, they said "We can see her head, and she has hair!" I was ready to get this kid out.

3/20 9:15 - 11:45pm: The doctors who told me I was ready to push never came back. Instead, what had happened was apparently during the previous two contractions, Scarlett's heart rate dipped pretty severely and wasn't rebounding as quickly as before. This was indicating that maybe the umbilical cord was being squished too much and therefore was cutting off her oxygen. I didn't know this until about 2 days after her delivery. But at the time, I thought everything was still OK. A young man came into my room and said "Laurel? My name is Dr. S (don't want to reveal his name on this blog). We need to discuss the possibility of you having a c-section." He basically told me that he was monitoring my progress and didn't like the look of how the baby's heart rate was so affected by the contractions. If I made enough progress with pushing and the baby's heart rate wouldn't dip as low as before, he would give me "assistance from below" as he called it (aka suction). However if her status didn't improve or her heart rate dipped again, I would have to have a c-section. All I could think during this entire time he was talking to me was "Who the hell are you and where did you come from?" The nurse at the time told me she would help me push as much as possible so we could make good progress. It was time to push.

I pushed for 2 hours, but it literally felt like 30 minutes. I pushed on my back, right and left sides trying to make progress. I didn't realize how much I wanted a vaginal birth until when I started pushing. I was determined beyond determination to get the baby out. But because my epidural had pooled to my left side, when the contractions would come and I'd have to get my legs up to push, the left leg was dead weight. Plus while pushing, I would count in my head while the nurse was counting out loud. When I would push, I'd immediately start counting and by the time I got to 3 or so, the nurse would start at 1 in her counting and was the SLOWEST counter EVER. I could've killed her. My mom also got in on the action and she was worse. She would whisper the numbers (I asked her to be louder) and then she would count even slower than the nurse and sometimes forget 9 and 10 and just count to 8. Finally I asked Jake to count and he was awesome. He was loud enough for me to hear, but not too loud and he would count at a pace I was comfortable with. The baby's head was in the birth canal, but not her crown. After the 2 hours, Dr. S came in, basically told me he was monitoring me again, knew I was pushing, but that it was time for a c-section. I knew no matter what I said or didn't say, he wasn't going to take "no" for an answer. Also, I was exhausted. I had no more fight in me to duke it out with this dude. Then he asked me the stupidest question: "Are you OK with that?" All I could do was look him in the eye and say "No, I'm not OK with it, but it seems I don't have a choice". A c-section was in my future and I was scared.

3/21 Midnight: I was going to have a c-section. I basically had to take my mind off of having a vaginal delivery and that I was going to be having surgery instead. I felt a little bit of failure because I had come this far only to be told I couldn't go anymore. All of a sudden, I saw a guy in green scrubs and a surgical hair cap come in and wash his hands. Since I was so tired, I could barely open my eyes. All I could think was "Man, that doctor is kind of cute"...it was Jake! Apparently he had changed into scrubs for the surgery and I didn't even know he was gone! At the moment he walked up to me and kissed my forehead, I said "You make one good-looking doctor... and you're keeping those scrubs". I was then wheeled into the OR and the anesthesiologist (who was from some Eastern European country) gave me the meds to numb me from the chest down. My arms were strapped down out to my sides. I felt like Jesus on a cross. It was all kind of surreal. Jake was rubbing my head and holding my hand. I knew at the moment the doctors called out their positions and status that I was going to freak out if I thought about what was going on beyond that blue sheet. Plus I was so tired and the work was being done for me, so I decided to nap during the procedure.

3/21 1:34am: I was in and out of consciousness. I was about to close my eyes again when I heard the doctor say "And it's out...it's a girl!" I instantly forced my eyes open and saw the nurse carry the baby to the cleaning and warming station out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head to see Jake make a beeline towards her. All I kept thinking was "Cry, baby. Please cry so I know you're OK". After a minute, but what seemed like 10, she gave out a huge cry. Jake came back to me for a minute and said "she's here" and all I could ask was "Is she OK?"

Scarlett Leigh Smith was born Monday March 21, 2011 at 1:34am

She was 6 lbs, 1 oz and 20 3/4 inches long

After a few minutes, I couldn't hold consciousness anymore. I closed my eyes and started to drift again. All of a sudden, I felt this warmth and pressure on my left shoulder/chest. I opened my eyes, looked down and I saw her laying on me. She was perfect. She was a little purple (which I was told was normal given what she'd been through with the oxygen dipping, but she was good) and waxy (she still had some vernix caseosa covering her). All I could say to her was "Hi baby. We waited a long time for you. Happy Birthday sweetheart". The nurse explained that they wanted to give her as much skin to skin as possible, that the OR was pretty cold and they've supposedly figured out that to have the baby against the mother's skin was more effective in maintaining a good body temp than being under the warming light. I could still barely keep my eyes open, but was forcing them to do so. My daughter is here and NOTHING was going to make me miss this.

3/21 approx 3:00am: I was wheeled into recovery and waited for Jake to come. All I could think was "It's over. She's here." Jake came in and showed me pictures that had been taken of her and us after her delivery. I also had noticed that sometime during the operation, he had peaked over the sheet...what a freak! ;) A few minutes later (or what seemed like it, but I guess was more like 20-30 minutes), my parents and mother in law came in. They had seen her in the nursery getting her Vitamin K shot and other various things they do in the nursery. They waited with me the entire time I was in recovery until the anesthesia wore off enough for me to wiggle my toes and a room was available. When we got to the room, Scarlett was already there with a nurse, waiting for us. She picked her up and asked me to do skin-to-skin. Within 10-15 seconds, my daughter was on my chest. My mind was racing. I kept thinking "Wow...this is it. This really happened. I'm a mom now. This is really strange!" After a little bit, my parents and MIL decided to head home and Jake folded out the horribly uncomfortable barka lounger chair to get some sleep.

Throughout my pregnancy, I had highs and lows. Towards the end-half, I had to battle some pretty serious stuff. I had Gestational Diabetes and Hypertension. I was checking my glucose levels 4 times a day, and my blood pressure once a day. I was on numerous medications and had weekly doctors' appointments. At the time, it was annoying and tedious, but that was in the moment. I was hugely uncomfortable and growing more and more tired and ready for the pregnancy to be over. But looking back on it now that Jake and my daughter, our baby, our Scarlett is here, it was all worth it. She's perfectly healthy (except for a bout of jaundice which was taken care of) given that she was born 4 weeks early. There was so much that could've gone wrong in my pregnancy and birth. But no...she's here and she's perfect.