Weekly video #6

Happy post-Turkey Day! I know this is a little late, but better late than never right?

Here's another rolling-on-the-floor-laughing one. It's an oldie, but a goodie and it ALWAYS makes me crack up. Enjoy!

I'm hooked!

Jake and I saw Twilight on Sunday in the theater. I went into it with no expectations given that I haven't read the books. I never really read the book before seeing the movie. I usually see the movie first and then read the book afterwards. I read The Other Boleyn Girl after seeing the movie. The only movie I've seen AFTER reading the book was To Kill a Mockingbird in high school.

Anyways, back to the point. Even though there are some that like the book WAY better than the movie, I LOVED the movie. I'm a visual person by nature, so I enjoy movies, art, dance, and the like. I love the story of Edward and Bella and how their journey is a sort of original one. The details about the vampires are way different than in previous novels/movies. I like how the Cullens are portrayed not as monsters, but just a little different than other people (different meaning the vampire part).

After seeing the movie, I of course wanted to read the books. I told Jake I wanted to read them now, and he said "OK"...nothing more. Yesterday I told Jake I was going to go to Barnes and Noble and buy the book to read, but I would wait 'til Christmas in case Santa had other plans. 5 minutes later Jake came up and gave me the book. Apparently he'd been hiding it for Christmas, but decided to give it to me early.

I love the book too! I was reading it 'til I fell asleep and couldn't hold the book anymore. I can't wait to go home and read it some more.

Weekly Video #5

Jake and I went to see this movie yesterday...I can't wait to read the books now.
Enjoy!

Here it goes

First off, I want to thank everyone who has read this blog and I'm sorry if my emotional roller coaster has turned you off at all.

Over the weekend, Jake and I have decided that we're going to take a break from trying to have a baby. We weighed everything on our plate that we have right now and it's not really fair to a baby to bring him/her into that kind of world.

I have a curve in my spine. We don't know what's causing it, or if it's treatable. I'm in constant pain and with a baby, that adds extra weight on the spine. I want to get a diagnosis and a method of treatment. I don't want to be a pregnant woman who can't do anything for herself because she's in pain. I also want to lose some weight. I want to get healthy before having a baby. Also, with where we live and our current bills, it wouldn't be fair to either us or the baby.

But the biggest reason is this: I miss Jake. Jake and I decided to start trying 4 months after we got married, shortly after Skyler was born. We had decided to try after a year, but I knew we would need help in the fertility department. We figured the sooner we tried, the better the chance we'd be pregnant by our year mark. Well, last Wednesday was our 18 month wedding mark, and no baby. Of course, there IS blood tests, IUIs, samples, labs, doctor's appts, stress, frustration, tears, etc. Jake and my relationship has been slipping and let's face it...other things are slipping too. I feel disconnected from him, and I hate that. We never really got to enjoy being married and I think this break will be good for us. It'll give us time to save money, pay off debt and concentrate on me feeling better.

Again, thank you to everyone for your support in our journey and we'll call this journey "to be continued..."

A new day

Today is a new day, and a new opportunity.

I start another round of Clomid starting today.

Another failure

I found out this morning that our first IUI cycle has officialy failed. I'm not pregnant.

I hate those three words...I'm not pregnant...they suck big time.

I'm sitting here writing this post and can barely see the screen because I'm tearing up so much.

There are so many emotions running through me right now...anger, frustration, hurt, disgust, sadness...

sigh...

Weekly video #4

This video is really funny. When the camera pans out, watch the lower left hand corner of the screen...

Enjoy!

3 days left

3 days left and I can technically take a HPT (home pregnancy test). I don't think I will though. I'm going for my progesterone and blood pregnancy test this week.

I'm also having the biphasic shift in my basal body temp. Only 8-9 more days it needs to stay up to show that temperature-wise, I'm pregnant. There are all these signs I need to look out for now, and I'm so afraid things will go haywire and I'll have a possible pregnancy yanked away from me.

The Chinese Gender chart says with my age and October being our conception month, we're predicted to have a boy. Honestly, I'd love having a boy.

OK, must not get ahead of myself. I just need to get through to the 18th. That's D-day for me (day of missed menses). I'm getting excited. One more day that passes where my BBT stays high and I don't get Aunt Flo is one more day this is a possibility.

Weekly video # 3

I do apologize this weekly video is so late in the day. Enjoy!

This one always makes me laugh. By the way, the "Blood-a" on the baby's face/mouth is actually baby food. You'll see it in the very beginning.

Frustrations and complications

I apologize if my last post offended some people. I don't believe I should be censored in my own blog space. I consider myself a very tolerant person and always willing to look at everyone's opinion without prejudice.

I understand there are many people I know who voted for McCain and were just as proud as I am to have voted for Obama. This doesn't make my views wrong, or theirs wrong either...they're just different. I believe Obama will do a good job as president, as I know a lot of people who read this blog believe McCain would have done a good job as well.

Again, I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but please remember this is my blog.


In other news...

According to my physical therapist, I have a lower back problem. Yay for me. He says within 2-3 months, I should see an improvement in how I feel. That's tough news when you're in constant pain now.

My MIL surprised me last night while we were discussing Thanksgiving plans. Jake and I are going to his family's dinner on Saturday. She asked me "What would you like me to say or not say regarding you and Jake trying to have a baby?" I knew that question would be coming, but I wasn't expecting it right then. I gave her my answer and Jake agreed. Hopefully there won't be any questions, but rather an announcement at the dinner, but I'm trying not to put all my eggs into one basket. :)

Now that the election is over...

I will state, with immense pride, that I voted for Barack Obama.

The reason why I haven't stated this before is because when I have stated it, I've been attacked verbally by those who disagree. But let me say why I voted for him.

When I was younger, I was so upset that Bush, Sr. lost the election to Clinton that I sent him a letter with stickers to try and make him feel better. I've never been one for change. Of course, as I grew older I realized how issues we face in this country effect me as well...as a person and as a citizen. I have been registered as "Non-Partisan". I vote for whoever I feel will do the best job, be it Republican or Democrat. I understand that the position of president is not an easy one. You literally have the weight of the world on your shoulders.

However, I believe at one point, Bush sort of abandoned this country. His hell-bent paths of trying to find Saddam Hussein, al Qaida and Osama bin Laden left our country vulnerable. Gas prices skyrocketed to the highest they've ever been in history. Our economy has sunk deeper and deeper into a hole than never seemed to end. It's been a scary 8 years to me, and I believe Obama has his work cut out for him.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have been totally devastated if McCain had won. However, I know the American people spoke, and the spoke loudly! They believe the Republican party has had the chance to change this country, and it obviously didn't work. Let's try something else, something new, something historic. This country has been plagued by racism and inequality since it's beginning and I believe we, as a people, have overlooked our differences and accepted such a change from our "norm". We have elected the first African American president in US History.

I for one am proud to be an American today. As I see the numbers of voters, I am glad and proud that I live in a country where masses and lines of people wait for hours to have their voices be heard. What other country has that?

I believe Obama has the vision, fortitude and opportunity to change this country for the better. I believe he has realistic goals for this country and realistic avenues in which to do them. I believe he has the drive to fix problems we have had in the past decade and build our country to a new glory, a country we ALL can be proud of. Of course, I know he is not without faults...and as he is human, he is bound to make mistakes. We all do. But I do believe I was right in putting my faith, and vote in Barack Obama.

McCain is a good sport and was extremely classy in his speech. I respect him, and I know it's a tough loss to bear. However, I know we shouldn't, as a country, look back on what could've been. But rather we should look to what will be.

Congratulations to Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States!

Officially in the "Two Week Wait"

We had to have a second IUI yesterday. It turns out I didn't ovulate until Sunday/Monday after Friday's procedure. The second one wasn't as smooth as the first, it was a little more uncomfortable and took WAY more out of me.

But, I'm officially in the two week wait period. I go in next week for my progesterone blood test and a few days after that, I take the blood pregnancy test. I will not reveal the results right away. Sorry people, but Jake and I want to keep this a secret for a little while and enjoy the prospect of being pregnant to ourselves. We made the mistake of announcing our engagement within 30 minutes of actually becoming engaged and we want to kind of just enjoy knowing something that no one else does. Does that make sense? No worries though, we won't keep you all in the dark for long.

I voted...

I woke up a half an hour earlier than I usually do to vote.

Have you used your voice this election?

:)

So very tired

I've been fairly "blah" company to be around the past few days. I'm not feeling like myself.

I had an IUI on Friday, and I've been pretty lethargic since. The couch and I have become VERY good friends, and Jake was a true trooper throughout the procedure.

We had to go in about 30-45 minutes beforehand to give them Jake's "sample", so they can "wash it" and get it prepped. I was a nervous wreck let me tell you. I kept thinking about this fairly traumatic incident I had to endure when I was about 9 years old, so I wasn't too excited in a good way to do this. Finally, I was called in and Jake was hot on my heels through the hallways into our little exam room. He brought video game cheat-sheet instructions to read (how like a guy right?)and I sat on the table, waiting for the doctor. Suddenly, I had the urge to go to the bathroom...and NOW! There was no leading up to it, it just hit me. So I went out into the hall and looked for the nearest restroom. As I was scoping out the hallway, Dr. Farkas came up to me and said "Laurel?" and I looked to my right and said "Oh, hello doctor." He said "I'm coming to see you right now" and I said "I'm so sorry, but I REALLY need to go to the bathroom". So he pointed me in the right direction and within 3 minutes, I was back in my room with Jake. As soon as I closed the door, I hear the nurse outside say "Dr. Farkas, the patient is back in her room" and within 2 minutes, he was in the room and we were discussing my progress.

The procedure itself was fairly painless, but just uncomfortable. It was like having an extended pelvic exam. The doctor made me laugh in the middle of the procedure, and I felt bad because I thought to myself "DON'T LAUGH!!! You don't want to ruin anything he's doing!" Within 20 minutes, I was done and laying on the exam table as instructed. I was told EVERYTHING looked perfect, and exactly where it should be at this point in the cycle.

One thing the doctor said to me afterwards was "OK, well we'll expect to hear from you because of one of two reasons: Either you're late, or aunt flow visited and we're all hoping it's the first reason." Jake and I both said "Me too" at the same time. Jake literally held my hand through the whole thing and talked to me for the 10 minutes I was laying down.

I had mild cramping as to be expected on and off throughout the day, as well as yesterday and today. I only expereienced spotting on Friday, which was also normal. But now, I don't know what's wrong with me. I have ZERO energy, I have a headache, the cramping has turned into a pressure-like feeling that feels like it's "moving" around in my belly. I actually just woke up from a 2 hour nap, and I NEVER nap...this is too wierd.

I'm due to test November 21st as aunt flow is due November 18th. I've decided to wait the extra torturous 3 days as a grace period window if she is indecisive of showing her face or not.

Here's hoping...