So here's what's been happening in the past two weeks:
1. Heard my 13th pregnancy announcement the other day in one year. 13 in a solid year. Yay for me, right?
2. Jake and I decided to go with Femara as our next step in our infertility journey. I'm currently on Progesterone to cause a "withdrawal"...aka AF and then from CD3-7, Femara it is.
3. Jake and I went to Lake Tahoe for our 3rd anniversary, celebrating a month late. We stayed in the same hotel we stayed at last year and it was a very relaxing weekend. On Monday the 21st, we drove all the way around the lake, stopping at Sand Harbor, Kings Beach and Emerald Bay.
4. Jake and I have decided to begin Weight Watchers together. This will be my 4th bout with the program, and Jake's first. He wanted to do NutriSystem, but I urged him to deal with portion control and real-life food rather than the freeze-dried stuff from NutriSystem. We have our first meeting this coming Saturday.
5. My cousins Adam and Barbara are coming ALL the way from Arizona to celebrate 4th of July with us in Sacramento! I can't wait to see them since I haven't seen Adam in 3 years and Barbara in about 7. I miss them a lot!
Other than that, there's been nothing totally blog-worthy lately. I will try to post more, but as you can see (especially with the first point), I've been having kind of a tough time.
I love you all!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The verdict is...
After much deliberation and prayer, I've decided to pursue Femara as our next step in our infertility journey.
I admit I want to jump to injectables, but in the end I think I would feel better knowing we exhausted all avenues of medications instead of looking back and thinking "maybe this would've worked if we gave it a try". I'm making the call to my RE today for the prescription.
I also want to thank my family and friends who read my whining every day. All of you mean so much to me, words won't ever be able to express my love and gratitude for you. It's meant so much to Jake and I to have such wonderful people in our lives and rooting us on.
Finally, I'd like to request your continued prayers for us. I'm determined to become a mother. With God's help and guidance, that may happen one day.
I admit I want to jump to injectables, but in the end I think I would feel better knowing we exhausted all avenues of medications instead of looking back and thinking "maybe this would've worked if we gave it a try". I'm making the call to my RE today for the prescription.
I also want to thank my family and friends who read my whining every day. All of you mean so much to me, words won't ever be able to express my love and gratitude for you. It's meant so much to Jake and I to have such wonderful people in our lives and rooting us on.
Finally, I'd like to request your continued prayers for us. I'm determined to become a mother. With God's help and guidance, that may happen one day.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Dip in the roller coaster
I know that a roller coaster of a life is a lot better than a merry-go-round, but sometimes the grass looks greener...
I've been really struggling with the fact that I will have to choose how to proceed. I don't want to choose. I want to get pregnant. I want to stop trying, and succeed already. There are a lot of things to consider, but in the end, all I want is to be a mother. I'm tired of beating around the bush and get to the part where I get to tell my family that it's happened for us. It's at times like these where that instance feels like it'll never come.
I finally told my MIL what our options are and what I want to do. And being the logical person she is, she mentioned something that was like a ton of bricks hitting me. What about Jake's education? The demand for his attention will only grow with his pursuit of his Bachelor's and Master's degrees at SF State. With working full time, and his educational demands, is doing the injectables really the right choice? The injectables would become a demand within themselves and it would pile too much onto his plate with everything else in her.
So now I'm crying as I type this post because I'm more lost than ever. I know what I want and a 50/50 shot is better than any shot we've had thus far. Am I crazy? This just isn't fair.
I've been really struggling with the fact that I will have to choose how to proceed. I don't want to choose. I want to get pregnant. I want to stop trying, and succeed already. There are a lot of things to consider, but in the end, all I want is to be a mother. I'm tired of beating around the bush and get to the part where I get to tell my family that it's happened for us. It's at times like these where that instance feels like it'll never come.
I finally told my MIL what our options are and what I want to do. And being the logical person she is, she mentioned something that was like a ton of bricks hitting me. What about Jake's education? The demand for his attention will only grow with his pursuit of his Bachelor's and Master's degrees at SF State. With working full time, and his educational demands, is doing the injectables really the right choice? The injectables would become a demand within themselves and it would pile too much onto his plate with everything else in her.
So now I'm crying as I type this post because I'm more lost than ever. I know what I want and a 50/50 shot is better than any shot we've had thus far. Am I crazy? This just isn't fair.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Blank
I had a phone appointment with my Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) today. I call him Dr. F, because when I say his last name (Feigenbaum), people shake their heads and say "Whaaa??", so Dr. F is his name. The last time I talked to him was weeks ago when we decided to try our first cycle on Clomid at 150mg 3 times a day. I took my BBT and did the OPKs, and took the blood test on CD 23 like a good girl trying to get knocked up. But alas, I didn't ovulate. I called to see where I should go from here, and a phone appt was set up for today at 10am.
So the doctor calls, and says "I see your blood test results, 0.3. I think it's time to go onto the 'big guns'". Big guns? What does that mean? "Well you have three options"...so here they are!
Door #1 - Keep trying on our own while trying to lose more weight in the hopes that I will spontaneously ovulate on my own. In addition to doing this, I would continue to take the Metformin every day.
Door #2 - There is a slightly different medication from Clomid, called Femara. Apparently, it is usually given to women with breast cancer and the hormonal effects have made women ovulate and get pregnant. The success rates with Femara are less than those with Clomid.
Door #3 - Injectable medications. This is the "big guns" the RE was talking about. I would take shots (not sure how many a day) daily for 5-6 weeks. I would be going into the RE's office for an ultrasound twice a week to monitor my follicular growth. The cost is considerably more than the oral medications and I'm not a fan of needles. However, this would give us a 50/50 shot of getting pregnant and I was told there is a 1 in 3 month shot of becoming pregnant. I'm going to share a personal bit of information, just because I need to wrap my mind around this: Even with our insurance, the injectable medication itself is $2500-$3000 for a 5-6 week cycle. Yowza. I'm having trouble with the amount in my brain. The injectables are also the kind that have a higher probability of multiple births (as in twins, triplets, etc.)
Needless to say, Jake and I have some talking to do. I know what I'm willing to put myself through and how far I'm willing to go to have a baby. I just wish God would throw me a bone in all this. We're working so hard and I don't know how we'll get through this, but I have faith we will.
So the doctor calls, and says "I see your blood test results, 0.3. I think it's time to go onto the 'big guns'". Big guns? What does that mean? "Well you have three options"...so here they are!
Door #1 - Keep trying on our own while trying to lose more weight in the hopes that I will spontaneously ovulate on my own. In addition to doing this, I would continue to take the Metformin every day.
Door #2 - There is a slightly different medication from Clomid, called Femara. Apparently, it is usually given to women with breast cancer and the hormonal effects have made women ovulate and get pregnant. The success rates with Femara are less than those with Clomid.
Door #3 - Injectable medications. This is the "big guns" the RE was talking about. I would take shots (not sure how many a day) daily for 5-6 weeks. I would be going into the RE's office for an ultrasound twice a week to monitor my follicular growth. The cost is considerably more than the oral medications and I'm not a fan of needles. However, this would give us a 50/50 shot of getting pregnant and I was told there is a 1 in 3 month shot of becoming pregnant. I'm going to share a personal bit of information, just because I need to wrap my mind around this: Even with our insurance, the injectable medication itself is $2500-$3000 for a 5-6 week cycle. Yowza. I'm having trouble with the amount in my brain. The injectables are also the kind that have a higher probability of multiple births (as in twins, triplets, etc.)
Needless to say, Jake and I have some talking to do. I know what I'm willing to put myself through and how far I'm willing to go to have a baby. I just wish God would throw me a bone in all this. We're working so hard and I don't know how we'll get through this, but I have faith we will.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Reno, Schmeno
Hello all! You might have noticed (or not) that I have been absent from the blog world for the past week or so. It's because I've been in the Biggest Little City in the World since Wednesday night.
I went to a yearly seminar that I attend at the Grand Sierra Resort. I had a good time, but I'm SO glad to be home! It was a loooong drive back, with a stop at Jake's grandparents' cabin on the way home to say hello.
Please bear with me as I get back into my groove after a 4-day hiatus from reality. I promise to post again soon.
I went to a yearly seminar that I attend at the Grand Sierra Resort. I had a good time, but I'm SO glad to be home! It was a loooong drive back, with a stop at Jake's grandparents' cabin on the way home to say hello.
Please bear with me as I get back into my groove after a 4-day hiatus from reality. I promise to post again soon.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Pomp & Circumstance
As many of you know, Jake graduation from Diablo Valley College this past Friday. He's worked long and hard, getting straight A's ever since transferring to DVC, save on Biology class which he really struggled with. Anyways...
At first, Jake didn't want to walk for graduation, but I thought since he's worked so hard, he should take full advantage with the big ceremony and get his diploma with all the hooplah that goes with it.
So Friday my mother-in-law, Jake and I trekked over to DVC for the ceremony. It was a mildly warm day which is a good switch from the cold rainy weather we've been experiencing lately. Jake went to the area where the graduates were supposed to go, and Lynn and I took our seats in the bleachers of the football "stadium".
At first, Jake didn't want to walk for graduation, but I thought since he's worked so hard, he should take full advantage with the big ceremony and get his diploma with all the hooplah that goes with it.
So Friday my mother-in-law, Jake and I trekked over to DVC for the ceremony. It was a mildly warm day which is a good switch from the cold rainy weather we've been experiencing lately. Jake went to the area where the graduates were supposed to go, and Lynn and I took our seats in the bleachers of the football "stadium".
The stage
Then it was time and we saw the graduating class walking towards the field
He's in there somewhere!
Jake was the only person wearing his favorite shoes...Converse! So I kept looking at people's feet to see where he was. Finally they sat down, and look where Jake sat...in full view! :)
Getting ready to go get that diploma
"That's right...Jake Smith...J-A-K-E"
"And...it's MINE!!! Muah-ha-ha-ha!!"
Freshly graduated
A proud mom...
And a proud wife!
The next day, I had a BBQ for anyone Jake wanted to invite. There were about 12 people and it was a really nice afternoon. Oh and for graduation...Jake got a Wii. And he's addicted. Seriously addicted.
Part of the fun is having Baskin Robbins ice cream cake. They didn't have the flavor Jake originally wanted, which was mint chip ice cream with chocolate cake, so we opted for cookies and cream with white cake. Yum!
Yummy cake
Congratulations Jake! I'm so proud of you!
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