Ahhhhhhhhhhhh...

In the midst of all the emotional chaos Jake and I have been through, I hit the wall the other day. I knew I needed to do something to get my mind off of baby-making, or lack thereof. So, Jake suggested I do something I've never done before....get a massage. So I booked an appointment for this past Saturday at noon. I slept in, woke up slowly and watched part of a movie. I had breakfast, took a nice long shower, got dressed and drove to the local spa in town. I was met with a warm "neck cozy" that smelled like slightly spiced oatmeal. I was also given a cup of tea and I got to choose the flavor. I chose Chamomile and Mint since I had a soar throat last week.

I was introduced to Annie, my massage therapist (I don't think they like to be called masseuse anymore, for some reason). We sat and talked for a bit so I could finish my tea and she asked me why I had decided to do this, and I told her my reasons (or rather, list of reasons) She took me into a room that was dimly lit with candles and a small lamp. She told me what was going to happen since I was "new" to the experience and there I went...

Oh.My.GOD!!! How could I have missed this????? It was the best thing ever! I left feeling so refreshed and relaxed...I walked to Starbucks, had myself a Pumpkin Spice Latte and visited Jake at the office for a bit. I went home and laid on the couch watching the rest of my movie until Jake got home.

It was the first time in a long time where I didn't feel tense, or stressed. I admit, I would sometimes think about why I wasn't getting pregnant yet, but then I had to tell myself to relax and concentrate on nothing. "Listen to the music Laurel...Enjoy the massage Laurel...don't worry about anything right now Laurel." It was nice to forget about medications and blood tests and doctor's appointments, and frustration and crying and wondering "when?"...it was just so nice to be in the moment and forget about life. Of course, I was sore yesterday (especially in my shoulders and upper back), but I'm in love! I'm hoping to talk Jake into a couple's massage next month...I know he'll enjoy it, especially with his shoulder.