Here it goes

First off, I want to thank everyone who has read this blog and I'm sorry if my emotional roller coaster has turned you off at all.

Over the weekend, Jake and I have decided that we're going to take a break from trying to have a baby. We weighed everything on our plate that we have right now and it's not really fair to a baby to bring him/her into that kind of world.

I have a curve in my spine. We don't know what's causing it, or if it's treatable. I'm in constant pain and with a baby, that adds extra weight on the spine. I want to get a diagnosis and a method of treatment. I don't want to be a pregnant woman who can't do anything for herself because she's in pain. I also want to lose some weight. I want to get healthy before having a baby. Also, with where we live and our current bills, it wouldn't be fair to either us or the baby.

But the biggest reason is this: I miss Jake. Jake and I decided to start trying 4 months after we got married, shortly after Skyler was born. We had decided to try after a year, but I knew we would need help in the fertility department. We figured the sooner we tried, the better the chance we'd be pregnant by our year mark. Well, last Wednesday was our 18 month wedding mark, and no baby. Of course, there IS blood tests, IUIs, samples, labs, doctor's appts, stress, frustration, tears, etc. Jake and my relationship has been slipping and let's face it...other things are slipping too. I feel disconnected from him, and I hate that. We never really got to enjoy being married and I think this break will be good for us. It'll give us time to save money, pay off debt and concentrate on me feeling better.

Again, thank you to everyone for your support in our journey and we'll call this journey "to be continued..."