Life sucks sometimes...and I mean IT SUCKS...
About a month before Jake and I moved to Point Richmond, I started going to therapy again. I wasn't feeling comfortable in my own skin, I was irritable, down on myself...the works. I started going and told my therapist if she were to put me on medication, I needed some that wouldn't interfere with having children. Of course, the doctor didn't listen and I was put on Celexa for PTSD, anti-anxiety (not as bad as my siblings, but it's there), depression and I was also notified I had mild anger problems..no kidding! I know where all these diagnoses come from, and I know what caused me to have depression, PTSD, and have anger problems...but we won't go into that.
I was feeling better...I was smiling more, I was mellow. Call me mellow-yellow, because that's how good I was doing. Then I noticed something...my medication was running out. So I called Kaiser, and set up an appointment with their Psychiatry department. The closest appointment they had? 5 weeks...yeah...5 weeks...ridiculous. Anyways, my medication ran out and I felt it again. The anxiety, the mood swings, the sudden urge to cry at the MOST random times. I start crying and immediately Jake is there asking me what happened. I sit any say mid-sob "nothing...i'm seriously fine...but I'm crying"...
When I called my former doctor to discuss my medication and the affects it might have had on Jake and I trying to get pregnant, she immediately told me to stop the medicine cold-turkey. Of course, I didn't like that idea so I at least tried to slowly wean (sp?) off. Well, the day after tomorrow is my first appointment with my new doctor and I couldn't be happier. I feel psychotic. Who seriously starts blubbering in the middle of folding laundry??? who??? ME that's who!
Don't worry, no tears were shed during the making of this blog...
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3 comments:
Oh, I hope you have some relief soon! Hugs!
:( I hope you get this worked out!
Okay, this is an uninvolved third party comment coming from a medical
background (excluding emotions)...my hope is that this can somewhat prepare you for what the doctor is going to tell you...NO medication is considered safe during pregnancy! Yes, some are more dangerous than others, but ALL meds can be a potential hazard to a growing fetus. :( What you and your docotor will have to decide is if your condition is bad enough to take the meds and risk harming your baby. Seriously...it boils down to you or the baby. Welcome to the world of self sacraficing for your children...it starts even before they are born! Know that I love you and want you guys to have a healthy baby...and a healthy you! :)
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