The other night I had a dream. I dreamt I was holding a baby girl, my baby girl. The only thing I could remember was that her foot got stuck under a blanket she was wrapped up in and I had to remove it. While I was holding her, my alarm went off in real life and I had to wake up.
I find dreams like this tough to wake up from/deal with, but hopeful at the same time. Even writing this now I have tears coming because I know it's something I want so badly. It's hard to explain to some people who are so driven with their careers that all I've ever wanted was to be a mother. For some reason, some people can't wrap their heads around that notion. I could never decide what I wanted as a career, but I was/am always sure motherhood is for me.
I try every day to have faith that everything will work out, but I'm just not feeling the faith this cycle. Last cycle seemed like such a waste, and its tough to think about the good sides of pregnancy and all that when people who know you tell you you don't have what it takes.
I'm sorry this post is such a downer. I needed to whine a little.
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