So the announcement...

So, before I make this announcement, I need a little backstory.





I admit, I'm a visual learner. I learn by doing and seeing it done, and not by instruction. This has been true for my entire life, but only recently recognized in the past few years. So, to say the least - I learn by example.





All my life, my mom has been overweight. I've seen her diet and diet again, to yo-yo back to her former size. She would tell me to eat healthy, but wouldn't do it for herself. She would tell me I'm beautiful, to have confidence in myself and to be aware of how beautiful I am. All the while, she's calling herself "ugly" and "fat", telling me to not end up like her. So while she's telling me one thing, she was teaching me the opposite. I know she can lose the weight - she lost a lot of weight for my wedding. Then afterwards, she started having hip and back problems. Now, it's to the point where she can barely move and walks with a walker.





When I had Scarlett, I decided I wanted to be different. I NEEDED to show her how to live a healthy lifestyle, by example. It would be one thing for me to tell her to do something, but not do it for myself. I don't want people in her school making fun of her because she has an overweight mom like I did. I love my mom unconditionally, and I defended her to the hilt just like I know Scarlett would. But no child should have to defend their parents like that. I don't want that for my daughter, but I also don't want that for myself.





My boundaries when it comes to weight loss are mental ones. I defeat myself before I even try and before I know it, I'm back at square 1. When I hear of people's weight loss success, my first thought is "I can't make it a year with this plan, I'll definitely fail". WHAT!? I was starting to recognize that I would defeat myself before I even start. I also would say "I can't", and I decided to stop saying that. Now, I tell myself "I'm not good at that yet, but I will get there". For me, it's a mental battle more than a physical one. I know my body can do things I want it to, it's the mental obstacles I have to overcome. I also would think of how much weight I'd like to lose, and I would think "I'll never get there, it's so long and so much to lose". Now, I have to tell myself "Any weight loss is good, and it's a step to the big goal". I know there will be pitfalls and a big roller coaster, but I'm tired of looking at myself in the mirror and thinking "WTF is going on with me!?"

So on Saturday January 14th, Jake and I joined Weight Watchers. I had lost a little bit of weight with WW before, but quit because #1, we were struggling with money and couldn't afford the dues and #2 I was doing it by myself and Jake and I had different schedules, so it was hard for me to do it by myself.

Jake and I had been talking about joining for a while. It was an ongoing conversation with us for about 3 months. I didn't want to do NutriSystem, pills or Atkins or anything like that because for me, it was about educating myself on how to eat healthy. I would think "Well, what if that company goes out of business, or they decide that pill is not healthy anymore? You have nothing but the real world and real food to face". So I wanted to join a group that teaches not only portion size, but healthy alternatives...and it NEEDED TO DEAL WITH REAL EVERYDAY FOOD. I didn't want to teach my daughter that you need to starve yourself while taking this "magic" pill to be healthy. You need to eat right and get your exercise to do that.

Last weekend was our first weigh-in, and I've lost 4.2lbs in my first week! I know losing that much is not typical and I don't expect to lose that much, if anything at all, every week. But to make that big jump first thing is a big push for me to keep going.

I'm excited, scared, nervous and hopeful that we can stick to this and have it be a learning experience for Scarlett.