I'm having one of those days where I feel like updating on everything...so here it goes.
#1 - I'm tired! Yesterday Jake and I went to SF for the day and spent the entire afternoon at Pier 39 and walked down to Fisherman's Wharf to go to Joe's Crab Shack. I was extremely proud, because I took ALL the walking we did slow enough to where I wasn't adversely affected. I walked the 20-or-so piers from the BART station in the FiDi to Fisherman's Wharf..holy hell! Not only that, but I walked up and down Pier 39 several times, and walked to Fisherman's Wharf then all the way back to the BART station. The end result? Jake and I walked through the front door, changed into our PJs and fell asleep. This morning I woke up and I'm still exhausted and in no mood for human contact...face-to-face at least.
#2 - Not picking a tattoo, especially for a picker...isn't easy! I'm so ready for this damn tattoo to heal already! I was a tad impatient and was "helping" the portions of the scabbing that were hanging on by not very much. I also accidentally (seriously...it was an accident) forgot to pat the tattoo dry after showering this morning, and I full on rubbed it dry. Oops...
#3 - It's T-minus 16 days until D-Day. 16 days left until tax season 2009 is over. Halle-frikkin-lujah! I'm so over it. We're supposed to go back to SF for a day-trip celebration for the end of the season, but I would be perfectly happy just staying in bed all day.
#4 - Jake and I have 2 days left before we start IF treatment again. I have to pick up my prescriptions today from the pharmacy and I'm excited, but nervous. I'm ready to re-take this on and now I know what to expect. I'm nervous because this is a big step. It's bigger than taking a break, because this time, it could be real! I could get pregnant, and we could become parents. I just hope I gave myself enough relaxation and time to heal from the year+ of trying to recuperate and revamp. I know this will be a take-it-one-day-at-a-time process. I'm looking forward to the anticipation of the IUIs, taking those extra steps to try to insure a good procedure and doing what I can to see those two little pink lines.
#5 - I've lost some weight. Jake and I have been making a big effort to eat healthier and exercise more...hence our "trek" through SF yesterday. I've gotten back into my "kick" with recipe books and I love trying new stuff with Jake to see if it's a keeper, or not. So far, I've had only 1 failure in about 30 tries...that's a pretty good track record!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
An announcement
On the 1st, Jake and I will be resuming fertility treatments to have a baby again. I have the prescriptions for my medications and will start taking my BBT (Basal Body Temperature) and using OPKs (Ovulation Predictor Kits). I'm excited and nervous at the same time.
Jake and I have been experiencing "baby fever" for a few months, but decided to hold out until 5 months of our break. We planned on 6 months, but we figured 5 months was close enough. I know these times won't be easy for us. With the hormones and the possible failed IUIs, I know I'll be a bit emotional. But I also know that my family and friends will be there to lend their support and prayers for us. I also know that this will take determination, understanding and patience. Patience is the one I struggle with the most. I have accepted that the timing of a baby is not up to me, it's up to God. There is a reason why I haven't gotten pregnant yet, and only God knows that reason. All I can do is pray and do my best to be healthy and a good "home" for a growing baby.
I feel Jake and I have come a long way to get to where we are. I have realized that this isn't just me in this..it's Jake too. This is just as much his journey as it is mine, because we are in this together. Jake has realized that I'm taking the brunt of the processes that need to be performed to get pregnant and I just need him to be there as my main support. And I also need him to understand that this isn't easy for me because I constantly feel like the "broken" one. We both know it will all be worth it when we see our little Smithling's heartbeat on that ultrasound monitor. Until then, it's all about one day at a time and being thankful that we have our friends and family rooting us on, and awesome doctors who will do anything need be to get us to our goal: parenthood.
Jake and I have been experiencing "baby fever" for a few months, but decided to hold out until 5 months of our break. We planned on 6 months, but we figured 5 months was close enough. I know these times won't be easy for us. With the hormones and the possible failed IUIs, I know I'll be a bit emotional. But I also know that my family and friends will be there to lend their support and prayers for us. I also know that this will take determination, understanding and patience. Patience is the one I struggle with the most. I have accepted that the timing of a baby is not up to me, it's up to God. There is a reason why I haven't gotten pregnant yet, and only God knows that reason. All I can do is pray and do my best to be healthy and a good "home" for a growing baby.
I feel Jake and I have come a long way to get to where we are. I have realized that this isn't just me in this..it's Jake too. This is just as much his journey as it is mine, because we are in this together. Jake has realized that I'm taking the brunt of the processes that need to be performed to get pregnant and I just need him to be there as my main support. And I also need him to understand that this isn't easy for me because I constantly feel like the "broken" one. We both know it will all be worth it when we see our little Smithling's heartbeat on that ultrasound monitor. Until then, it's all about one day at a time and being thankful that we have our friends and family rooting us on, and awesome doctors who will do anything need be to get us to our goal: parenthood.
Friday, March 27, 2009
When someone's gone...
Today I was watching the funeral for the 4 fallen Oakland police officers online today. If I weren't sitting at me desk at work, I'd probably be balling my eyes out.
I've been to Oakland only a handfull of times, but it's a very important place for my family. My grandfather was a fireman in the city of Oakland, my father as well as my uncle and aunt were born and raised in Oakland. Of course, I know Oakland is now a very different place than it was then. However, I find it difficult to wrap my mind around what happened to these men. How can someone be so desperate that they're willing to end 4 people's lives because they think somehow, they won't get into even more trouble than they already are if they do so.
While I was on my honeymoon, my grandmother passed away. Somehow I felt selfish when I came back and heard the news. I thought to myself "How dare I go away on a vacation while my grandmother is dying. What is wrong with me?" I never got to tell my grandmother that I love her, or even goodbye...and I still feel bad about it to this day. Because when someone is gone, they're gone. There are so many things I wish I would've done differently towards her (ie. spent more time with her) had I know she would be gone when she was. I would've postponed my wedding, or moved it up so I could've been with her while she was leaving us.
I guess these are times when we realize life is too short to take time and people for granted. Grudges and disagreements aren't worth it because in the end, these are the people who will be there when you need them the most.
So, to all my family and friends - I love you.
I've been to Oakland only a handfull of times, but it's a very important place for my family. My grandfather was a fireman in the city of Oakland, my father as well as my uncle and aunt were born and raised in Oakland. Of course, I know Oakland is now a very different place than it was then. However, I find it difficult to wrap my mind around what happened to these men. How can someone be so desperate that they're willing to end 4 people's lives because they think somehow, they won't get into even more trouble than they already are if they do so.
While I was on my honeymoon, my grandmother passed away. Somehow I felt selfish when I came back and heard the news. I thought to myself "How dare I go away on a vacation while my grandmother is dying. What is wrong with me?" I never got to tell my grandmother that I love her, or even goodbye...and I still feel bad about it to this day. Because when someone is gone, they're gone. There are so many things I wish I would've done differently towards her (ie. spent more time with her) had I know she would be gone when she was. I would've postponed my wedding, or moved it up so I could've been with her while she was leaving us.
I guess these are times when we realize life is too short to take time and people for granted. Grudges and disagreements aren't worth it because in the end, these are the people who will be there when you need them the most.
So, to all my family and friends - I love you.
Weekly video 3/27/09
Along with my family, we discovered this guys..umm...talent (?) last year on youtube. It's too funny.
ENJOY!
ENJOY!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
FUNK!
No, I don't mean the music, a chicken, or the weird smelling stuff that comes off the human body. I mean being in one.
I'm in a funk today. I don't know what it is, but something is off. I can't concentrate on my work, I don't want to be around anyone right now, and I just don't feel comfortable all around. I'm lsitening to Pandora Radio (the best ever) and even the music isn't helping me. I feel like I'm suffocating (not literally)
Another straw to add to the camel's back, I seem to be having a slight allergic reaction to the epidural. It's been going on for a while, and I went to the doctor's for it. I have all these little red bumps around the injection sight, up my back, on my shoulders, chest, and torso. They don't itch, and it isn't acne since they're just bright red and stay that way.
The tattoo is doing well. It's scabbed over, so that's a good sign. Jake's has begun to flake the scabs off, but that's to be expected since his tattoo is just the outline at this point, and mine is complete (with color). Honestly, my tattoo didn't hurt as much as I expected it too. Sure it hurt, it's a needle stabbing ink into your skin. But it just felt like a cat scratch with vibrations behind it, if that makes sense. The ankle is supposedly one of the places where getting a tattoo hurts the most, but it didn't hurt more for me when the guy was going over the bone. It just felt different, and my ankle felt like it was buzzing/vibrating. I want to get another one, but I've been told to wait at least a year before getting another. I agree with this since it'll give me time to decide what I really want, which I already know what I want) and where (I already know where, but it's OK). No worries, I won't be one of those people who's covered head to toe with tattoos. I'm not that crazy.
I'm in a funk today. I don't know what it is, but something is off. I can't concentrate on my work, I don't want to be around anyone right now, and I just don't feel comfortable all around. I'm lsitening to Pandora Radio (the best ever) and even the music isn't helping me. I feel like I'm suffocating (not literally)
Another straw to add to the camel's back, I seem to be having a slight allergic reaction to the epidural. It's been going on for a while, and I went to the doctor's for it. I have all these little red bumps around the injection sight, up my back, on my shoulders, chest, and torso. They don't itch, and it isn't acne since they're just bright red and stay that way.
The tattoo is doing well. It's scabbed over, so that's a good sign. Jake's has begun to flake the scabs off, but that's to be expected since his tattoo is just the outline at this point, and mine is complete (with color). Honestly, my tattoo didn't hurt as much as I expected it too. Sure it hurt, it's a needle stabbing ink into your skin. But it just felt like a cat scratch with vibrations behind it, if that makes sense. The ankle is supposedly one of the places where getting a tattoo hurts the most, but it didn't hurt more for me when the guy was going over the bone. It just felt different, and my ankle felt like it was buzzing/vibrating. I want to get another one, but I've been told to wait at least a year before getting another. I agree with this since it'll give me time to decide what I really want, which I already know what I want) and where (I already know where, but it's OK). No worries, I won't be one of those people who's covered head to toe with tattoos. I'm not that crazy.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Well...I did it!
I, Laurel Smith, am the proud owner of a brand new tattoo...yes...you heard right. I got a tattoo. I'd been considering it for a long time, and I decided it was time. I wanted something that would never change for me, and would always be a part of me. So, I got Jake's name tattooed on me...JUST KIDDING! HAHA...got ya! But seriously, I did do a lot of research and thinking about what I wanted. I didn't want anything dark, chunky, and overall not me. I also wanted it in a place where I could see it, and it wouldn't be a "Tramp Stamp". So...
I got my zodiac sign (Capricorn) with 2 purple roses on my right ankle. Here it is...
I got my zodiac sign (Capricorn) with 2 purple roses on my right ankle. Here it is...
Friday, March 20, 2009
Weekly video 3/20/09
In honor of the first day of Spring, I thought this little snippet from Bambi would be appropriate.
Happy Spring!
Enjoy!
Happy Spring!
Enjoy!
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