See the ticker above?

That ticker means tomorrow is Jake and my first post-break IUI.

I'm a little nervous about having the flu and doing the IUI, because I'm sick with the flu. I know as long as I do what I'm supposed to do, I'll be fine.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hope the two weeks before I take the test goes by smoothly and as it should.

Here's hoping for my...

Flu: 5, Laurel: 0

That's right, I have the flu.

It all started last weekend while Jake and I were in Tahoe. I could feel a little congestion, but didn't think much of it. Wednesday rolls around and all of a sudden, I start coughing. I'm coughing and coughing.

It hasn't stopped since. I'm miserable. To make things worse, I got Jake sick. So while my 103 fever is behind me, his is beginning.

I hate being sick. Yuck.

Lake Tahoe!

For our anniversary (which was pretty rocky, but we won't go into that), I was treated to a romantic weekend in Tahoe over Memorial Day weekend. Jake and I left on Friday night and checked into Secrets Inn, which I recommend to EVERYONE!!! It was so close to downtown South Lake, but tucked away so you aren't in the middle of the busy-ness of the main drag. While there we decided to just relax and enjoy each other.

Jake with "Jake" from Blues Brothers

Me being goofy (Wow...I'm white)

At Sam's Place Bar & Grill

Snow on the mountains (very pretty)

On our last night in Tahoe, we decided to go to dinner at a place called Beacon. It's the only beachfront restaurant in Tahoe. We got there at sunset and it was so pretty!

Of course, no trip would be complete without traffic. It took us 7 and a half hours to get home. Of course, we did stop at Jake's grandparents' cabin off of Hwy 50 for an hour or so to say hi. It took us 2 and a half hours to get from Davis to Fairfield. Craziness.

Greetings from le traffic jam!

Sad day for California

I know there are some who read this blog who are happy with the decision of the CA Supreme Court to uphold Prop 8. Then there are others, like me, who are disappointed and honestly, quite furious at the state right now.

California has always been made fun of as a "progressive" state with nothing but hippies and liberals. Today's decision is a huge step back for California, in my opinion. Writing this post, I'm almost in tears because I cannot imagine a place I call home telling me I can't marry the person I love. I'm going to try not to write this out of emotion, but if I do, please forgive.

I have always said EVERYONE has the right to be happy, no matter who or what makes them so. Just because it's different than what we're used too, or what we believe, doesn't make it wrong. Love is never wrong. In times like these with so much violence and a war going on, I would think this would send a huge message of tolerance, saying to the world "Hey, we accept ALL people and they are ALL equal". Just because someone is gay doesn't mean they're some sort of subhuman alien a la boogeyman who's going to eat children alive. They're just PEOPLE, like you and I, who were just told by a government they PAY TAXES too that they can't get married because they're different than what convention calls for.

I know there are some who will probably quote the Bible when I say this: but I don't believe gay people are an abomination. I've been raised to believe that God doesn't make mistakes and He has a grand plan for all of us. He designed us for exactly who we are supposed to be. If this is true, then wouldn't God have made gay people the way they are? I believe God loves all people, no matter who they are. If someone who has raped or murdered can be accepted by God, why should gay people be any different? I don't believe God made a mistake in creating someone who is gay. It's just one more trait to make someone unique and somewhat different than the rest of us. A few decades ago, it was thought an abomination for interracial couples to marry and have children. If that's true, then one family member in particular would be considered an abomination, but he's not. He's a bright, beautiful human being that I love dearly. Just because he's different, doesn't mean he's destined for a firey pit headed up by the Devil.

There are some things people know about me, and others that some don't. But when I've needed support, my family and those whom I love have always been there for me. They have shown me that compassion goes a lot farther than prejudice and hate. Life is too short to tell anyone that just because they exist in a different spectrum than you do means you're right and they're wrong. This may make me a hippie, but there's too much hate passed around. We need to spread the love.

Also, to Katie and Lori: Jake and I will always be here for you no matter what. We're so proud of you and hope to spend more time with you in the near future.

Weekly video 5/22/09

This video is very meaningful to me as it was introduced to me a few years back when things weren't the greatest in my life. Ever since then, I listen to it when I need a little lift. Seeing as I've been a little down lately, I thought I'd share the song. Since Leona Lewis is one of my favorite artists, her version of this song is just beautiful.

Enjoy!

"Get out of my dreams...."

The other night I had a dream. I dreamt I was holding a baby girl, my baby girl. The only thing I could remember was that her foot got stuck under a blanket she was wrapped up in and I had to remove it. While I was holding her, my alarm went off in real life and I had to wake up.

I find dreams like this tough to wake up from/deal with, but hopeful at the same time. Even writing this now I have tears coming because I know it's something I want so badly. It's hard to explain to some people who are so driven with their careers that all I've ever wanted was to be a mother. For some reason, some people can't wrap their heads around that notion. I could never decide what I wanted as a career, but I was/am always sure motherhood is for me.

I try every day to have faith that everything will work out, but I'm just not feeling the faith this cycle. Last cycle seemed like such a waste, and its tough to think about the good sides of pregnancy and all that when people who know you tell you you don't have what it takes.

I'm sorry this post is such a downer. I needed to whine a little.

Super Sausage Gravy w/ Buttermilk Biscuits

I have recently begun to fully appreciate the classic comfort-food breakfast known as sausage and country gravy.

My first attempt at making this recipe was a tiny bit of a failure because I put way too much sausage in it, and let the gravy cook too long so it got REALLY thick. I've made the appropriate modifications below. Also, please keep in mind the buttermilk biscuits are from Pillsbury (I know, I know...shame on me, but I was pressed for time).

Original recipe compliments of allrecipes.com & Bob Evans



Super Sausage Gravy

1/2 lb Bob Evans (I used Farmer Johns) sausage roll
1/4 cup all-purpose flour, unsifted
2 cups milk
salt and black pepper to taste
8 prepared biscuits

Crumble and cook sausage in large skillet over medium to medium-high heat until browned to preference. Stir in flour until completely dissolved. Stir in milk. Cook gravy in skillet until bubbly. The longer you let it "bubble", the thicker the gravy will be. Pour gravy over biscuits and enjoy.
NOTE: The gravy is a little bland, so use the salt and pepper to taste as you desire.

Weekly video 5/15/09

This is a good one. The cats are acutally meowing at each other, so someone put "commentary" on top to create a conversation between the two.

Enjoy!

Another brick on the pile

So...here's the latest dish from our infertility journey. (this might be TMI, but I have to explain it).

Jake and I were watching and waiting to have an IUI on CD (cycle day) 17, which would've been Apr. 27th, but I ovulated on CD 20, April 30th. I thought maybe I would have a 35 days cycle, which would give me a 14-day luteal phase (after ovulation), but I ended up getting AF (aunt flo) on Tuesday, meaning I had a shorter luteal phase, 11 days.

If you're keeping up, that's awesome. I hope my previous post with all the acronyms is helping.

I found the way my cycle happened to be a bit odd, so I called my OBGYN with my concerns, and to refill my prescription of Clomid for this cycle. She called me today and said this:

#1 - My blood sugar levels bother her a lot. She's surprised I haven't been put on some sort of diabetic medication, such as Metformin. It's common for ladies with PCOS to have insulin resistance (a form of diabetes), which is what she's guessed I have. I have to go in on Saturday to have another blood fasting test to check my glucose levels. If they're too high, she's going to request that I be put on Metformin from my PCP (primary care physician).

#2 - Given that my luteal phase was not the normal 12-14 days it should've been, she wants me to come in and have an Endometrial Biopsy. What will happen is after I ovulate, and after my BBT rises for the luteal phase, they will go in and take a sample of my uterine lining to make sure all the hormone levels are where they're supposed to be given I'm on medication.

The word "biopsy", in my mind, isn't associated with "just checking stuff", so I'm a little nervous. Any time I've heard of someone having a biopsy, it's to check and see if they have cancer.

Any prayers, dust, thoughts and good vibes anyone can spare would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. I love you all.

Patience

Patience by Dan Rosenhagen

Listen in the silence to all that
you know and will come to know.

Each breath that you take is a breath that will precede the next,
as each step that you take comes before the next step.
For you cannot breath for the life that is to be tomorrow,
as you cannot complete your journeys end,
less you take one step before the next.


When a tree is in the cycle of it’s life,
it then knows when it is time for it to bear it’s fruit.
And when the fruits are ripe,
They are dropped from the limbs and in time the fruit will be gone
and the new seeds are scattered to the soil.


As you encounter the wonders of life,
be silent and listen for the time of life’s cycles.
Then you will understand when it is time to interact and relate
with the nature of what is before you.

You must know that if you are impatient and harvest the fruit before it’s time,
then you will have a fruit that is sour to taste.
And the sweetness of your experience will have been wasted in the futility
of your haste.


When the fruit is harvested at the right time then you will become at one with,
and a part of the natural offering that was meant to be consumed.
And it’s fragrance and richness will be your nourishment.
And you will then know that in having patience,
your life will be in the eternal rhythm of all living things.

KA-BOOM!

On Saturday, Lynn, Summer, Jason, Summer's friend Debbie, Skyler, Jake and I went to san Francisco for what has turned into a yearly tradition for us....KFOG's Kaboom. It's a concert the radio station holds every year on the day before Mother's Day on Piers 30/32 in San Francisco. Last year Summer and Jason didn't come because Skyler was still little, so this year they seized the opportunity to come with us. This year's lineup was Chuck Prophet, Susan Tedeski (sp?) and Los Lonely Boys headlining. There are literally THOUSANDS of people there every year, and it seems the numbers keep climbing. The end of the night is topped off with the most spectacular fireworks show I've ever seen. Last year, they spent (literally) over a million dollars on the pyrotechnics...no joke.

From the back of the crowd looking at the stage. (this is only 1/4 - 1/3 of the people)

Jake and I enjoying the Cali sun

Skyler after eating several strawberries from the farmers market at Pier #1

Some fireworks

And finally, a snippet of the last of the show, including the finale. Please excuse the screaming, that was me. :)

Grilled Lemon Herb Pork Chops

I've decided to follow suit with some of my other fellow bloggers and post a few recipes from time to time. Here is my first, I hope you like it.



Grilled Lemon Herb Pork Chops



3 tbsp lemon juice
2 tbsp vegetable oil (I used olive oil)
3 cloves garlic, minced
3/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp dried oregano
1/8 tsp pepper
4 boneless pork loin chops



Mix together lemon juice, veggie oil, garlic, salt, oregano, and pepper together in a large resealable bag. Place pork chops into bag, seal, and coat chops with mixture. Refridgerate for 1-2 hours. Grill for about 7-10 minutes on each side, longer to blacken.

It's hit me

It's hit me, and I'm not a happy LoLo right now.

It's hit me that I didn't get pregnant this cycle. I knew this feeling and day would come. I knew this would be the disappointment I'd feel when I knew it didn't work. Granted we didn't get the chance to do an IUI since we were in Texas, but still... Of course having an IUI doesn't guarantee a pregnancy, and there's still a small chance I might be but it doesn't feel that way.

This is the feeling I hate. This is the time I hate. I have officially 3 days until I get to test, but to me there's no use wasting the $30 for a HPT when I know what the result will be. I know this is a test of my faith and courage to forge ahead but it still sucks...and it sucks BIG TIME.

OK, I'll go hide under my bed covers now until the feeling passes.

Weekly video 5/8/09

In honor of Mother's Day, I want to dedicate this video to my mom. This is a big song with us as this was her "lullaby" to me when I was little. Happy Mother's Day Mom...I love you.

Enjoy!

I'm baaaaaack!!!

Hello everyone!

Jake and I just got back from Texas last night and we are whooped to say the least. We found a house we love in a great area, so we'll see what happens in the next 6 months or so...we might be homeowners!

On the flip side, we missed our opportunity for an IUI this cycle. I'm bummed, but I understand the timing was off (I O'd while we were in TX) and it's OK. Next cycle will be better.

So here is a day-by-day account of our trip:

Thursday: Took off about 8:40am and landed in DFW about 2:30. Got our rental car after standing in the wrong line for 10 minutes. When we got to the correct rental counter, the car Jake and Dad had reserved wasn't available, so we got a free upgrade...to the same car, different maker. Figures...so we set off to go to our hotel. We get there, no sign of Rick's truck, so we walk in and Ricl is sitting in the lobby waiting for us. We check in after learning the hotel never received our reservation. Good thing Dad printed the reservation and brought it with us. Note to self - NEVER USE EXPEDIA! We set our things down and have lunch at the Saltgrass Steakhouse with Rick. We go to a few developments and look at Meritage and HistoryMaker homes. Rick goes home and Dad, Jake and myself have Whataburger for dinner...yum!

Friday: Rick and Maria meet us at our hotel and we go to Cracker Barrel from breakfast. We then head to a community called Heritage, and look at really nice houses, but too big in space and price for our budget. It was still great to look at. We see Standard Pacific Homes and some other builder I can't remember. We then go to a different part of Heritage and look at DR Horton homes, which my Dad fell in love with the Cape Cod style exteriors. We also try to look at Plantation Homes, and some other builders but they were in close-out mode, so there was no use looking. We went to Sonic because my blood sugar was crashing and then went to Flower Mound to pick up Maria's nephew, Jack from school and meet Charlie (Maria's brother). We go to the Cotton Patch for dinner while being extremely entertained by Jack and his 4-year old personality. We also take a trip to Hobby Lobby because my curiosity got the better of me. I love that store. We then part ways and go back to our hotel where I wait in the window for this "thunder storm" we were supposed to have that night. But I'd have to wait...

Saturday: Dad, Jake and I got to sleep in and have breakfast at the Waffle House. I enjoyed the experience. We got to sit at the counter like truckers, which made it extra fun. We then make a stop to one place my Dad's been dying to go to - Texas Motor Speedway. We get there and I had to learn where entrances for different things were, and we eventually ended up where we were supposed to be - the visitor's center. We walked through the gift shop where one of Dale Earnhardt, Sr.'s suits was. Dad was in heaven! He got to take a picture with a pace car and everything. We then drove to Rick and Maria's house in Aurora and had a light lunch while being greeted with the thunderstorm we were expecting. FUN TIMES!!! The poor dogs were terrified and barking/whimpering. The 5 of us stood out on the front porch watching the action, and I can only say it was very exciting to watch. We heard roaring thunder, clapping thunder, rolling thunder...it was so cool! We then drove to Trophy Club, which is the more affluent town and looked at Lennar, DR Horton, and First Texas homes. We go to dinner at Rosa's Mexican Grill amid the ginormous lightning bolts, dark gray clouds and booming thunder...and the heaviest rain I've ever seen in my life. We then head back to our hotel to watch more lightning and thunder while watching movies.

Sunday: Sunday we were pretty much on our own since we wanted to give Rick and Maria a day off. Maria's been working some loooong hours, so we wanted to give her at least one day to herself. So we drove up to Sendera Ranch and looked at Lennar, First Texas, Cheldan, and DR Horton homes. Dad fell in love with Lennar right then. We drove around the community and Dad got to get a feel for the whereabouts of what was happening with the community. We also drive to Bonds Ranch where there are houses half-built that will never be finished because the builders went under. Sad. We go back to the hotel where we decided to go down the street and see a movie. To Jake's excitement, we saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine. We then head back to the hotel and hang out.

Monday: Rick meets us and we go to breakfast at Dixie House cafe. Definitely Texas-style breakfast. We are starting to notice there are only two types of toast offered at all of the breakfast places: White and Wheat...no Sourdough...has to be a California thing. Then we drive to a few communities and look at Drees and Sandlin homes...more custom builders. I see my first Wolf Spider in one of the homes' doorways...oh hell no! Then we look at a community where Jake and I found a house we love! It's by Meritage in a community called Briarwyck Estates. Then we go to rest a little at the hotel and meet Rick and Maria later for dinner at Jason's Deli. Then we go to a store called Belk. It's like Macy's, but a little more affordable. We talk for a while and then say our goodbyes.

Tuesday: We meet Rick at IHOP for breakfast and then head towards the airport to drop off our rental car. Then we go to Bass Pro Shop's Outdoor World. We wandered around there checking everything out and then to go lunch at Uncle Buck's, the restaurant next to and a part of Outdoor World. Then we head to the airport, say goodbye and go home. Jake and I got to our house at about 9:30pm where all the kitties were waiting for us and have been super-lovey since we got back.

So yup, that was our trip. It was tons of fun...I can't wait to go back.